Different dudes running MarkWahlberg.com now. Sorta. Message base and CGIs are jacked. Making copy ‘just in case.’ New host dudes found my mini David Schwimmer site and want to buy it. Woo hoo! Took pics of both David and Seth Green while teaching a web agency in New York how to make ZIP files. Seriously. […]


the ex or cyst?

Found photo of marketing department that’s been been putting stupid Anne Murray spiritual music commercials on Cartoon Network.


it’s an evolution, not a revolution

Watching Anne Murray commercial. Wondering why it’s on Cartoon Network. Every 4 hours Anne’s inspirational songs start going at it on this channel, effectively horrifying children everywhere. Great example of a marketing department on crack. Watched This is Spinal Tap from start to finish for first time. Pretty good. You can tell most of it […]


i don’t speak spanish, but i can sing it

Can’t get Partridge Family theme song Come On Get Happy out of my head. Considering labotomy. No accidents on freeway today. Traffic blows. Wondering if I can drive an ambulance to work. HOV lane people speed past me. Need to develop lifelike artificial passengers. Hard to find good fake people. Here are some of an […]


you gonna eat that?

Neighborhood civic association hates me. Got second letter in mail that said, "You’d better mow your lawn right now, or we’re going to mail you another letter telling you to mow your lawn!" Can’t stop knees from shaking. Bought new lawn mower two weeks ago from Sears. Self propelled and more horsepower than my garage […]


i don’t want to turn into a marshmellow

Restored missing entry from a week ago. In meantime, receiving junk mail from local bond offices. Bad news travels fast. All heard I skipped out on ‘failure to signal’ jury trial. Wondering if scary bondsman did his job or if I’m a fugitive. Went into closet to try on jailhouse orange shirts and pants. Plan […]


coming in 2001: tooth piercings

Found out jury trial for this morning actually happened yesterday morning. Sucks. Called court. Court phone person says, "All the cases for this morning have been dismissed." Dammit! Went to good friend who has tons of tickets. Got card for lawyer. Drove to creepy lawyer’s office located right across from courthouse. Got parking meter spot. […]


the daily accident #1

What did I tell you? Traffic cop directing me around this example of Houston driving got really pissed when I whipped out the camera. Laughed at his crazy hand-waving antics and drove on. Cops are kooky. Dead truck on freeway slowed me down to 2 MPH crawl. Offered to help cop push truck off overpass […]


bless you, dammit

Considering starting new section called Daily Driving Accident. Everytime I drive to work there is always a different accident. Sister section to this would be Daily Driving Idiot. This would include brief details of stupid things Houston drivers have done before my eyes. Today some dude U-turns from opposing side at exact moment my light […]