Different dudes running MarkWahlberg.com now. Sorta. Message base and CGIs are jacked. Making copy ‘just in case.’
New host dudes found my mini David Schwimmer site and want to buy it.
Woo hoo! Took pics of both David and Seth Green while teaching a web agency
in New York how to make ZIP files. Seriously. Stood outside David Letterman theater hoping to find a scalper.
Found pushy CBS Page chick instead. Asked her if she knew where the scalpers hung out. CBS Page chick scoffed and said,
"They’d better not be out here!" Cursed under breath. Saw big crowd on side of building just waiting. Waited with them.
Asked dude waiting there what we were waiting for. Dude says, "Guests!" Thought he said, "Guess!" Cursed
under breath again. Big ass limo pulls up and Seth Green hops out. Camera in hand, I snap shots. After 10 minutes of pleasant
interaction with fans, Seth goes into studio. Next limo pulls up and David Schwimmer hops out. Saw his hairstyle and got jealous.
Cursed a third time. Snapped more pictures and wondered how long before scientists can implant cool hair genes.


Girlfriend out of town. Already miss her. Wondering if pillows in bed will suffice. Doubting it.


Dyed hair on Sunday. Blue-black. Need haircut. Looked like Elvis impersonator because of dye stains on skin below my
sideburns. Went to Mervyn’s to show off Elvis sideburns. Wanted to say "Thank you. Thank you very much." to people
at random. Kids outside changing rooms should be cuffed to the wall. Making mental note to send letter to Mervyn’s CEO.
Saw ugly people to attractive people ratio at Mervyns was skewed towards ugly people. Remembered my Elvis sideburns. Covered
up face and kept low profile.


Thought about lip gloss. Wondered why there’s no lip gloss for guys. Changed tune when
realization hit me that lip gloss is sexually attractive. Lip gloss can be removed in many interesting ways. Made a happy-stupid
smile. Realized I was happy-stupid smiling in a Mervyns. Covered up sideburns again and hid in corner.