bless you, dammit

Considering starting new section called Daily Driving Accident. Everytime I drive to work there is always a different accident. Sister section to this would be Daily Driving Idiot. This would include brief details of stupid things Houston drivers have done before my eyes. Today some dude U-turns from opposing side at exact moment my light […]


three way

Saw Almost Famous sneak at movies last night. Very kewl. Cameron Crowe’s approach to filmmaking integrates period music with scenes that are completely and utterly believable. Not a big crowd at screening. Sad about that. Marketing for movie is being done all wrong. Frances McDormand knocks out the role of the main character’s mother. Official […]


nickel teen withdrawal

Went out last night to club called Surfside Sally’s. Got impression nobody there is really named Sally. Hot tub and wooden decks totally gave me impression I was surfside. Not. Drank Everclear punch from fishbowl. Smoked cigarette. Woke up today hating fish, cigarettes, bowls, red straws and people named Sally. Bought groceries. Remembered Happy Days […]


funeral arraignments

Remembered my first car wreck today. Was driving down two lane asphalt road in 1986. Lots of opposing traffic just sitting in other lane. Kept looking at people inside their cars. Recall thinking, “Ugly. Ugly. Dude. Ugly. Dude. Dude. Ugly.” On the cusp of the next ugly I saw that the car I’d been following […]


the meaning of life

Starving. Feel woozy. Want to eat dead animals and plants. Noticed that whenever I eat chicken on the bone, there is carnage left over. People don’t seem to notice the carnage. Chickens have bones. People have bones. Hmmmm. Ordering boneless chicken from now on.


real telepathy?

Watched Big Brother tonight. Freaked out. Why? Cast was asked to create message to be flown on airplane banner. They picked "LIVE LONG + PROSPER GEB" Glad my initials aren’t GEB. Would have scheduled flight to Vegas right then and there. Latin Emmy Awards on now. Spanish is hurting my ears. Getting strange craving for […]


follow the white rabbit

Got yelled at on phone. Plotting revenge by putting together list of everyone who has ever pissed me off. Plan to make them involuntary members of Wrestling Federation of America. Added phone yelling person from today to list. Still room for more wrestlers. Thought about CBS show Big Brother during drive to work. Realized cast […]


do you think that’s air you’re breathing?

Found picture of me on #’s Web site. Top left-hand corner. Moved to new server. Finally off MarkyMark.com domain. New domain is MarkShields.com or MarkShields.net. DNS will propagate tomorrow. If things look broke, give me time. Moving ain’t easy. Uneventful weekend. Saw The Cell. Cringed at "hanging from chains" part and "intestines wound on rotisserie" […]



Wanted to drive DeLorean this morning. Battery was hosed. Jumped it. Drove two miles. Drew usual number of stares. Want to fix door and radiator issues. Want to win 59 million Lotto Jackpot tomorrow. Want to write and direct movies. Want to live in an Atlas Missile Silo. Abandoned sites exist. People have advice. They’re […]


are you hecka stupid?

Bored. Went to domainsurfer.com and typed in stupid. Found this. Watched first half of Sleeper last night. Woody Allen used to be weirder. Now people call him ‘nebbish’ on a regular basis. He used to be a freak. Hoping I don’t lose my freak powers. Hoping I don’t marry my wife’s adopted child, either. Love […]