While departing a private jet in Washington, D.C., reporters question President-elect Bush about what the sum of two and two are. "This many!" responded Bush.

The photo to the left is of my friend Oktober. I have three rolls of film just like this (minus the special effects). I bought a flatbed scanner a month ago and my laptop doesn’t like it. Any other computer, however, does like it. I still haven’t bought a new machine yet. This nice girl […]

I am not sure what path I took to find it, but there is something on the web called The Naked News that you must check out! It’s a legitimate broadcast that covers daily news, weather and even Hollywood gossip. The best part is that it is done by very attractive news anchors who slowly […]

Haven’t bought a videogame system since 1985 when I paid way too much for a ColecoVision. Compared to, say, a Playstation 2, it sucked ass. So I bought a Playstation 2 from my buddy Will, the guy who saved me from being crushed by hot and sticky fans at the Manson concert. I only want […]

What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time? What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind. Anyone perfect must be lying, Anything easy has its cost; Anyone plain can be lovely, Anyone loved can be lost. Haven’t updated in forever and half (however long that is). Been […]

Bush supporter Fred Bautsch does jumping jacks while waiting for his pizza delivery to show up. "Pizza tastes good!" announced Bautsch. Didn’t get into work today. Heard weird alarm early in the morning. Upon investigation found out my heater was croaking. Thought it was my fire alarm. Wrong. The carbon monoxide alarm. Woah. Never thought […]

Palm Beach County Supervisor of Elections Theresa LePore uses her psychic powers to determine voter intent. "Most of the time I have to be watching ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’ reruns to do this right," admitted Ms. LePore.

Been a busy week. Went into the office and made the most of being out in the open area, out of an office. Find myself cursing out loud less often. All surfing now is G-Rated no matter what. Off-color joke emails get deleted quickly. Adjusted my screen resolution to 1600×1200 so that no normal human […]

Florida election officials blinded by strong florescent lighting use rejected ballots to shield their eyes. "It’s so bright in here. Where are my sunglasses?" inquired Judge Charles Burton (left). Republican election officials have steadfastly held that the lighting conditions seem fine to them. Vice President Al Gore finds time to jog amidst allegations that the […]

Bush supporter Michelle Granda gives Gore supporter Scott Brown the index finger outside the Palm Beach County elections headquarters on Thursday. "How dare you point your index finger at me," countered the frightened and weasel-like Brown just before he burst into tears. "No re-vote for you, flag-shirt hippie!" responded Michelle. Feeling super depressed right now. […]