I wanted to buy some stamps. I walked up to the stamp machine they have here at the cafeteria. A message cryptically flashed, ”CAN ONLY MAKE CHANGE UP TO $0.85” — I thought, okay. I wanted a book of stamps that cost $7.40. I put in 40 cents. I then put in a dollar. The machine told me I needed to put in 6 more dollars. I looked in my wallet and I had a 20. I put that in. The machine seemed happy. I was happy. I pressed the button to buy the stamps. They plopped down. Then… instead of being told that I needed to buy more stuff, this stupid machine gave me 85 cents… and that’s it. That’s all I got. I was like, uhh… hello? Where’s my other freakin’ 13 bucks and change? The cryptic message now read, ”CAN ONLY MAKE CHANGE UP TO $1.20” — I was all, NO WAY! I stared at the machine for another three minutes, grumbling. I walked away. I’m coming back tomorrow with my blow torch.