Edited yesterday’s entry to improve ha ha factor. Plotting trip to Best Buy to acquire Matrix Reloaded and South Park The Movie. Plan to play Matrix Reloaded tonight in vain attempt to piss off my neighbor with my kick ass speakers.
Forgot to talk about how cool my parking garage is. My parking garage is cool. There, I’ve said it. Only had one minor incident. At first I didn’t have The Remote to open up the upper deck ramp garage door. Most attendants were nice enough to open it for me. Most… until I met The Late Shift Dude. He told me I had to have my own remote to get up there. ”But I’ve already been up there.” He was like, ”No, sorry…” and I was all, ”but I like it up there… I don’t wanna park down here.” He stood motionless. ”Come on, I’ll give you a dollar!” I offered. He shook his head in silence. ”Okay, fine, I’ll pay for a remote first thing tomorrow morning. Will you please let me in now?” A smile slowly formed on his face as if he’d won a contest or something. He walked into the nappy office and hit his button. The next day I was out $40 and in exchange held my very own giant honkin’ remote control. I took it up to my apartment. From my window I can see both the nappy office and the aforementioned garage door. My alarm clock woke me just before Late Shift Dude had to leave for the night. I walked over to my window. I hit my shiny new remote button. The garage door began to open. The Late Shift Dude walked outside his office, confused. He rapped his hand against the door as it closed, as if that would solve the mystery of why it opened. I waited until he had almost returned to the office and hit the button again. He spun around to face the door, startled. I briefly considered the downside that I might give this guy a heart attack from all of my mysterious late night shenanigans. Then I thought, ”Nah.” He returned to the garage door and reinspected it for… I dunno… poltergeists? I repeated this sequence, like, three more times. I think by the fifth time he became disinterested in becoming a Ghostbuster and began to ignore the opening and the closing. Fine. I changed my gameplan and hit the PANIC button on my car’s remote. That made a few other car alarms go off as a result. He jumped up again, only this time as if there was a fire somewhere. He took off for the staircase. I hit the PANIC button again to make my car stop honking. He made it upstairs just as my car shut up. The other cars gave up after another minute. He carefully walked past each car during his paranormal investigation before returning downstairs. Just as he was about to sit down again… yeah, that’s right… I hit PANIC again. Good times. Now, that was worth $40.
