I pull up to the drive-thru at Wendy’s and the dude on the speaker hollers, ‘WENDY’S! CAN I HELP YOU!” and I’m all, ”Just a moment.” 10 seconds later he comes on again, ”CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER, PLEASE!” Perturbed, I say, ”Dude, is there some kind of time limit?” His unexpected response: ”THAT’S RIGHT!” I’m like, WTF? Feeling pressured to order, even though there’s no line of cars behind me, I search desperately for my previous favorite meal, The Santa Fe Chicken Salad. Nothin’. Not there. The newly rearranged menu doesn’ help. Maybe I missed it? Another 10 seconds pass. Two Wendy’s uniformed dudes appear from the side of store and walk up to my car. Their query? ”Is there something wrong with our speaker? Could you not hear us?” I’m thinking, duh, your speaker is working fine. What’s your problem? I’m annoyed. I suddenly recall the last time I went through the drive thru. I was with coworkers and we bought a bunch of stuff. They gave us a bunch of bags. We paid. We drove off. Guess who’s meal was missing? Grrr. There must be some vendetta against me for all the bad ”Where’s the Beef?” jokes I’ve made through the years. I flipped off Wendy’s guys #1 and #2 and pealed out of the parking lot. I drove to the grocery store and bought a large fat-free container of Cottage Cheese, some mixed fruit, three Cookie Dough flavor Balance bars, and a liter of water. It’s not the same as a Santa Fe Chicken Salad, but at least I wasn’t being rushed.