My friend Dawn, whom I’ve known since we were in elementary school, attended the Madonna
concert with me on Sunday, July 22nd. I hadn’t really spent much time with Dawn since we’d
gone backpacking for six weeks through Europe in 1992.
We went our separate ways and didn’t really hang out after the trip was over.
It was more than just a trip. We
were the trip. Part of the problem was that we were just friends and hadn’t stopped
to think that we’d get on each other’s nerves after being stuck together non-stop
for over 700 hours. We took a breather on the friendship with only a few visits in between
until now. I’m happy to say that the friendship seems healed. Of course, Madonna gets
some credit, as does the fact that Philly turned out to be really fun. Little did I know!


My new view of Dawn can be summarized in just a few sentences. She loves her cell phone.
She can style her hair in many ways. She can make body altering decisions within a short
period of time. She gets grumpy if she misses a meal. She has fantastic sense of direction.
She has lots and lots of patience.
I, on the other hand, hate my cell phone. I can only style my hair one or two ways (messy
or not messy). I’d need a drill sergeant to convince me to alter my body.
If I miss a meal, I’m cool with it —
my ”Computer Job Gut” could do with a little starvation diet now and then. I have a sh*tty
sense of direction — I could get lost in a Super K-Mart without really trying.
And I have lots and
lots of patience — except when I want to get to the Madonna concert really early but Dawn
is convinced we should go hunting for the red church doors from the film ”The Sixth Sense.”
We eventually compromised on that last point, by the way, so all good.


So, after a weekend
filled with visiting the Metropolitan Bakery, Sixth Street, the Libery Bell, Independence Hall, the
City Tavern, a tattoo parlor, the Art Museum, Eastern State Penitentiary and the aforemented ”Sixth Sense”
churches, we were on our way to see the biggest pop icon on the earth (next to Kermit the frog,
of course).
We arrived at at the First Union Center at 6:45 PM and quickly acquired beverages. Dawn took
some ”How To Pour Beer” classes and gave me the skinny on the fact that Budweiser was good and
Bud Light has less calories and tastes like sh*t. I’ll remember that. Wahlberg was drinking a
Bud Lite at the premiere. Maybe I should have told him. No matter. We entered the center and
found our seats in the 7th row of the center section. We were freaking dead center. Amazing.
After a quick bathroom break prior to the start of the show, we settled in our seats and prepared
to be entertained by the queen of pop. And we were. A lot. She kicked ass. The woman can
tease and taunt and evoke reactions and emotions whenever she wants.
Very impressive. Reminded me of how
I felt when I saw ”Tomb Raider.” [sigh]. Where was I? Oh.
Madonna’s set (in order) included

Drowned World/Substitute for Love,
Impressive Instant,
Candy Perfume Girl,
Beautiful Stranger,
Ray of Light,
Paradise (Not for Me),
Frozen,
Nobody’s Perfect,
Mer Girl,
Sky Fits Heaven,
Mer Girl (reprise),
I Deserve It,
Don’t Tell Me,
Human Nature,
Oh Dear Daddy,
Secret,
You’ll See,
Lo Que Siente la Mujer,
La Isla Bonita,
Holiday and
Music for the final encore.
Apparently she’d been singing ”Gone” in earlier shows but replaced it with ”You’ll See”
for the first time during the tour that night. I didn’t notice some of the technical problems she
was having during Mer Girl (guitar issues according to the press). The show was beautifully
choreographed and was entertaining for every second that it went on. I can’t wait until
the HBO special of her show comes out next month. My final rating for the concert? 5 out of 5.
I got two t-shirts. One black ‘official’ 40 dollar shirt. And one ‘Dude Selling Bootleg Shirts
on the Side of the Road’ shirt for a tensky. Not bad.


Before the concert started there was some talk about a guy dressed up as an 80’s Madonna sitting in the front row. Some
people said he was a medical student going to every Madonna concert during her tour. However, some
minor research revealed he’d been involved in a male Madonna look alike contest on
Friday in Philly. I don’t know if the medical student rumor was true, but dude, he looked like
a chick. What a mean trick (for me). Luckily Dawn’s ”That Is Really A Guy” perceptive skills
eliminated any thoughts that had begun to form in my head when I saw him… her… uh… him
from afar.


One last order of business is the fact that my dog Chew-Chew has successfully driven my
roommate up the wall. I plan to properly convert the storage room into Chew Chew’s shelter
and install a doggy gate for him to enter it at will when I return to Houston this weekend.
I will also be putting up two fences to keep him in the backyard and sides of the house.
He has the bad habit of running outside into the street every time the garage
door opens and potentially getting flattened by any other cars that might be driving by. Not
good. Some obedience training is definitely in order, but that will have to wait until I return.
Apparently the roommate doesn’t like getting jumped on and slobbered on every time she comes
home. My dog shouldn’t be doing that. That’s what boyfriends are for.