A lot of people do stupid things without thinking about the consequences. You only live for a fixed number of days. Why would you want to risk running
out of them? Why would you want to risk giving them up to spend time in the Crowbar Hilton? Heck, you spent the first five years of your life learning
how to focus your eyes, hold your head, grab things, chew, crawl, walk, talk, eat and remember so chalk those first five off. Chalk off the last five if you
plan to live past 90 because you are likely going to spend them while watching 50 year old reruns of MTV Total Request Live 2009. So, for all you people out there
thinking about drinking and driving: call a cab. For you people thinking about stealing: save your money and buy it yourself, loser. For people thinking about
killing: even if you think there isn’t a God, why would you risk it, you moron? Doing illegal drugs? Smoke some Marlboro reds and drink some beer after hitting
yourself in the head with a hammer. Same effect. Traffic laws? Don’t break them… unless you happen to be in Harris County Precinct 4. They’re backed up til 2005.
Just plead not guilty, trial by jury, and problem solved. Oh, and don’t litter, but pretending to be a student to get cheaper movie tickets is okay. Now excuse me
while I listen to the theme song to Wonder Woman (again).
 As a member of the Star Laser Force Imperial Guards of 1985, Super Genius Mark Shields was called upon to fight for truth, justice, and the American way for 12 minute intervals at 6 bucks a pop. |
Waiting for a con call that was supposed to start an hour ago. Almost can’t wait to hear the explanation about either why it didn’t happen
or what’s up with the late start. The call is taking place in Louisiana, so I guess that could explain things. Take that as you will.
Was in Florida on Friday. I left and returned within 24 hours. On the plane ride back I got The Vibe from a girl who was sitting behind me.
She chatted it up with some guy behind me and I found out she’d just finished her freshman year as a political science major. Yikes. I turned
off my vibe after hearing that. The political science major part, not the freshman year part — who the hell do you think I am? Heh.
Went to the Mitsubishi dealer body shop and had them assess my car. It will cost me $2700 to get it back to 100% external bad ass levels.
This includes replacing the convertible top which was knifed two years ago, most likely by a now ex-girlfriend’s psycho ex-husband. I’m
not dating any more people with ex-husbands. New rule. So, this will also give me the opportunity to change the top of the car to black instead
of tan. I’m gonna do it. Monday. Taking the car in and dropping it off. This only leaves a few more things on my ”must spend money on this”
list. To name a few:
- Big ass hot tub with 60 jets, seats 8
- Enclosed glass or screened ”Room with a View” patio to place big ass hot tub
- High resolution projector for computer or DVD video
- Giant comfy sofa set to view projected computer or DVD video
- Black Volkswagon Beetle with Turbonium
- The Batmobile
- Turbo kit upgrade for DeLorean
- Barrel of Fun ride from Astroworld, circa 1973.
I think that covers my most critical needs right now. Of course, beautiful girlfriend/fiance would also be a nice, but apparently
it’s illegal to buy one of those. Dammit.
Some idiot thought it would be funny to get revenge on me in some twisted way by spreading poop on the concrete right outside my gate and
ringing the doorbell. I got up. I walked to the gate. I opened it and saw what deed had been done. I then went back inside and rewound
the surveillance videotape and watched it all happen. What kind of stupid person doesn’t bother to look up and see a giant videocamera when
they do this? Well, you’re going to find out as soon as I get it converted into MPEG and posted. I love stupid people. They give me
something to do with my minimal free time. That, and they keep all of the Taco Bells going. Nice.
