Friday 2.23.2001: Departure
Returned home from work. Remembered 23 things I should have done yesterday to prepare for
the trip on the way home. Broke the speed of sound several times while getting ready.
FYI, driving on a sprained ankle isn’t too bad. I have learned to hobble barefoot in
the past week. In the event of fire, I am sure I could break three, maybe four miles per
hour. Drove five hours straight into New Orleans. Stopped once in Baton Rouge (I think)
for coffee. Caramel white chocolate capaccino, to be exact. It was really good. Until I
spilled it on my hand. Ouch. Pain was temporary. No scars or burns. Why is it that the cup
they put next to a hot beverage dispenser is always a centimeter too tall. Bastard Circle-K
corporate executives.
Saturday 2.24.2001: Day 1
Parades were supposed to begin at noon. Got choice spot. I had no idea the number of parades that
were going to come through. They are boring, however. Yes, catching all sorts of interesting beads is
an interesting thing. For the first four hours. Walking on braces got me minor sympathy. I’m actually
tired of the sympathy. I have started to tell people that my ankles were messed up from an XFL football
injury. Most people are like, "No way! You seem kind of small for football!" I’m all,
"Man, everybody is small in the XFL, like duh!" I hope no XFL players read this blog.
I have been toying with the idea of alternate stories about the injury. It’s a toss-up between
Mardi Gras Bead Accident and I Had My Feet Up On The Wall That Dale Earnhardt Smashed Into. Yeah, I
know the second one is in bad taste, but then again, so is the XFL. I spent some time at Harrod’s
casino with my mom and she had a great time. Oh, did I forget to mention that I brought my mom?
I figured, the only
thing worse than going to Mardi Gras with two severely sprained ankles was to to go Mardi Gras
with two severely sprained ankles and my mom. [just kidding mom, in case you’re reading this].
I figure I’m not going to pick up any chicks sporting the big ass ugly braces on my feet, so what the
hell.
Sunday 2.25.2001: Day 2
Slept in. Nice. Decided to only wear one necklace to the parades today. It’s composed of a lot of little
pool table balls (8-ball, etc). It’s the only necklace anyone ever seems to like. It cost five bucks.
Money well spent. Haven’t traded it with anyone… yet. I’m open minded. Hit the hotel for lunch and
the parade route once again. It travels right in front of where I’m staying. Not bad. Bourbon
Street is two blocks down Canal Street. Casino is two blocks up. Wendy’s and McDonald’s are across the
street. How can I lose? Taking lots of photos which I’ll put up on my return. Had bad ass landscapers
clean up my yard before I left so I’ll throw in some bonus footage of the new digs as well. My dad is
living in the house while I’m out of town. He’s feeding my dog and cleaning my guns. Good ol’ dad.
Plan to return to Bourbon street shortly, camera in tow. I’d like to pick a theme. People getting sick?
People arguing? People giving me the peace sign? I should have made up a sign that says Super Genius
and take pictures of interesting people (a.k.a. good looking girls) holding it. We shall see.
Watching X-Files right now. Good stuff. Makes me want to get abducted.
