13-Jul-2001 Uncategorized

anger management

Friday the 13th today. Planes don’t normally start crashing on this day, so nothing to fear. Wondering why some buildings
don’t have a 13th floor, while some do. When I was working for a client in Florida it was on the 13th floor. Nothing but good
stuff happening there. My favorite number is 8, however. Someone asked me this once long ago, so I just picked it and stuck
with it. Good thing to know in case you ever have to cross a bridge and you’re being quizzed by one of those Monty Python guys.

At the Atlanta airport again. No delays… yet. Some lady walking by in the hallway just screamed out “COME ON!” at her kid for not
keeping up with her. He was, like, 3 years old. Witch. She yelled so loud she started me and my fellow gate C-15 people.
I almost yelled back but couldn’t think of a witty rejoinder. It was a tie between ”NOOOOOOOO!” and ”I TOLD YOU I HAVE THE RUNS!”

Absolutely beautiful blonde woman in a blue dress is sitting 7 rows ahead from me in the waiting area. Walking off now carrying
what looked like a Frederick’s of Hollywood plastic shopping bag. Do they give those out? Man, I’m never buying anything from
there. Victoria’s Secret bags are at more conservative and inconspicuous. This bag had giant stars on it. I could be wrong,
however. Uh oh. Now I’m wondering what’s in there? There was a tall brunette girl at the terminal in Philadelphia wearing
tight wait pants and very obviously a white thong beneath them. This really old man and his teenaged grandkid were
behind me, all smiles. I love this country. We’re not half-assed backwards like Pakistan, for instance. I was watching
”48 Hours” on CBS last night and they were talking about these ”Cleansing Murders” that happen there when a girl in a family
becomes unclean for being raped or having premarital sex. Someone in the family kills her and the authorities only punish
the guilty parties. They were interviewing some fat ass Pakistani dude who had killed
his sister because she had been raped and brought shame to the family. Too bad we couldn’t put him into the luxurious
Huntsville, Texas prison system for 40 years. He got six months. He was talking about how ”when a girl is damaged like that,
you throw her away.” What a jerk! They ought to line these people up and kick everyone of them in the nads with steel
toed boots. Some of these practices date back to the Ottoman empire. Again, classic example of stupid people.

I am seriously thinking about changing the format of my site to something more like
The Onion. I’d probably rename this the ”Super Genius Speaks”
section. I don’t want to re-invent the wheel, I just need to expand beyond what is happening to me because the earth is full
of observations that are obviously being overlooked. I am also planning on moving my site to another server without a 200 MB
download limit. I’ll warn you (all 5 of you) in advance of the move. To be honest, I get more hits from people looking for
the ”YOUR DAUGHTER KICKED MY DOG” sound file than I do for anything else. I ought to record an entire series of sequels
to that. I think I could do an impression of the infamous Kerpal. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go to the
Creations section and check out the Comedy Audio files.

This is the last time I’m in Houston until after Madonna and ”Planet of the Apes” is over. I need to make a list, but I will
spare you the boring tedium of what will be on it. The next time I get back I’ll have a roommate fully moved in, a kitchen
to redesign, siding and storm drains to contract the installation for, as well as a patio to build. After that is over I will
work out the logistics of finding the perfect video projector and hot tub (not necessarily in that order). I’ll then
relax and concentrate on avoiding going backrupt. I think I’m going to make someone’s day at First USA and move all of my
credit card bills to them. It’s the little things in life that make it so special. That, and beer. Mmmmm. Beer.