I try not to get too political since I basically ride the fence as a moderate. I definitely lean more towards liberal politics with some exceptions which are more important to me and less important to you (so I won’t shove them in your face like a lot of other people will). Speaking of which– here’s something one of my Texas based friends posted which attempts to mock the liberal agenda. I also found a response (posted below that). Is it funny? Are fights funny? It depends on which side you’re on, I think. Read on — and don’t be offended! These are just words.
I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my horse.
I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.
I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people and we are not infidels.
I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.
I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.
I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
And now a response…
I voted Republican because I don’t want someone to marry my horse. Wait, there is no law that says someone can do that? Oh.
I voted Republican because I believe government taxing a gallon of gas at 15% is obscene — even though this money goes into the state system to fund education, state highways and law enforcement. Oil companies, however, are good to go with making a 4% profit on the same gallon of gas regardless of how much gas costs. That money goes into– oh wait– it goes into their pockets? That’s it? Do they donate any of it? A little? Oh, that’s nice. Wait, they write that donation off on their taxes? Well, it’s the thought that counts.
I voted Republican because I don’t believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. Might as well make me in charge of all federal programs, please, ’cause I rock! Put me in charge of the FDA so I can get this whole peanuts and salmonella thing worked out on my Facebook page.
I voted Republican because I want to dismantle freedom of speech that causes offense. What’s that? Under Bush’s term, federal officials spent millions of dollars investigating adult content producers? You mean I paid federal agents to go in and look at porn? And they could do it without warning or just cause? What are they looking for? Underage performers? You mean if a company was using an underage performer they would keep that person’s identification as evidence so they could get busted? What’s that? The FBI inspected numerous companies under Bush’s watch and found nothing? Wow. How much did all of that inspecting cost me?
I voted Republican because when we pull out of Iraq I don’t trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people and we are not infidels — even though being in Iraq for all the wrong reasons actually inflamed the bad guys and made them hate us even more. I was hoping we could go into Iran because I didn’t feel they hated us infidels enough just yet, plus I heard they were making a bomb there! Wait, isn’t that what I heard about Iraq? Hmmm. Well, whatev.
I voted Republican because I’m responsible enough to own a gun, and I know that my local police are not enough of what I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. Now, I do realize the same murderer and thieves also have the same guns I do. Also, I realize that guns are more frequently used for suicide, hunting and homicides than they are for defense. But hey, whatever — out of my cold dead hands, bitch.
I voted Republican because I don’t believe in global warming. To prove that I’m going to compare the weather bureau with are charged with predicting weather patterns with the findings of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change who concluded that anthropogenic greenhouse gases are responsible for most of the observed temperature increase since the middle of the twentieth century, and natural phenomena such as solar variation and volcanoes probably had a small warming effect from pre-industrial times to 1950 and a small cooling effect from 1950 onward. Even though these basic conclusions have been endorsed by 30 scientific societies and academies of science, including all of the national academies of science of the major industrialized countries, whatever. If you think I’m trading in my Ford F-150 for something more fuel efficient, you’re nuts.
I voted Republican because I’m am concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive. I realize that this slaughter has been going on since Row v. Wade back when Nixon was in office. Man, that nasty Democrat Nixon. He was– wait, what’s that? He’s a republican? He was? Are you sure? Oh. And you’re saying that abortion has continued regardless of the administration in the white house? Hmmm. Well, then how do we stop it, then? I mean, I voted Republican. What ELSE can I do?
I voted Republican because the rich get taxed less than the poor when there’s one of us in the white house. I do realize that most Republicans are not classified as rich, but hey, you never know — I could hit the lotto. Wait, am I for or against the lotto? Should I check the bible? I’m against it? Aw, crap.
I voted Republican because I want conservatives that I put into the Supreme Court to interpret the constitution based on Sharia law. No, wait, I mean Christian law. Sharia law isn’t for reals and any government that is based on that is going to hell. I’m going to use a 2,000 year old bible to base my decisions on what’s right and wrong. While I do realize that a lot of what’s going on in their is allegorical and doesn’t apply, the gay stuff and the fringe stuff that the bible is against should totally be law. The Eye for an eye stuff, meh, not so much. I’ll sit that one out in court (unless I shoot the guy with my gun).
