My phone rang around noon yesterday. I recognized the number. I answered.

Me: (spoken quickly) ”Thisismarkshields.”
Constance: ”Mark, this is Constance from the leasing office.”
Me: ”Hi!”
Constance: ”They’re here.”
Me: ”The new iPhones are here???”
Constance: [long pause] ”No.”
Me: ”No, wait, ABBA is here? Holy sh*t!”
Constance: ”Mark, the people who own the piano have movers here.”
Me: ”Oh. Well. I, uh, I’m at work.”

This is a half-truth. I was working from home.

Constance: ”That’s okay. I have a key. I can let them in.”
Me: ”Okay, okay. I’m actually here. Um, would you believe I sold the piano on eBay?”
Constance: ”Not really.”
Me: ”Fine. I’ll have it waiting in the hallway.”
Constance: ”Thanks!”
[click]