I was driving to work on Friday morning and was startled to witness a white bird with grey wings literally racing the car in front of me. The bird was easily flying 60 miles per hour. I kid you not. At first I thought tragedy would occur at any moment. I’ve seen birds unexpectedly fly into traffic only to get splattered against someone’s grill. That wasn’t the case in this instance. This bird was freakin’ crazy and was *definitely* aware of what it was doing. In the back of my mind I considered that maybe this was some teenaged bird that was getting cheap thrills by taking risks and racing cars. Or maybe he’d found a bottle of beer and was FUI (flying under the influence). So weird. After a full 90 seconds of chasing alongside traffic and swooping across every lane of trafic, the bird finally took off. It was one of the most impressive things I’ve seen an animal do.

I’m going to see BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE at the Uptown in 30 minutes. I’m waiting on fellow coworker Aaron to show up. I haven’t done much today other than lounging around. Last night I went into downtown to hang out with the guys. I did manage to get a girl named Amanda to convincingly repeat the words ”Mark Shields Super Genius” several times upon my departure. I don’t know why I don’t just exchange my phone number. I’ve done weird things like this in the past. My old phone number was 713-466-6007. I would actually ask someone to remember it by saying, ”Just remember: 713 – Four – Satanic – James Bonds.” How’s that for a tangent?