Spent good part of the weekend sweating it out while I recovered lost sectors on my D: drive. Windows ME sucks ass. I plan to upgrade
to Windows 2000 Pro SP1 as soon as I get home again. Memory leaks in Windows ME are so bad that I want to install a porta-poddy on
the side of my desk. Computer humor. It is a difficult concept.


Drove DeLorean around for 10 minutes. Had 5 minute meeting with The Storage Place Guy over my billing. He thought I’d missed a payment.
Wrong. Correction made. Need to have 5 minute phone call with my old insurance company. They are apparently unable to comprehend
the idea that one person could break both their ankles at the same time.


Them: ”Mr. Shields, we’re not sure why, but everyone double-billed the medical bills related to your broken ankle.”


Me: ”I broke both ankles. They’re not double-billing you. I needed two of everything.”


Them: ”Mr. Shields, I don’t see how it is possible for you to have broken both of them.”


Me: ”It is possible. Are you people insane?”


Them: ‘That will be $1800, please.”


Me: ”Can I send you the payment using foreign currency?”


Them: ”I’m sorry? Foreign currency?”


Me: ”Yeah. I’d like to pay you using Mexican pesos. I’ll mail you a little bit of the payment every day in a sealed McDonald’s bag that
I’ll send in the mail.”


Them: ”Sir, please don’t do that.”


Me: ”I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. Oh, what’s your name?”


Them: ‘[name deleted]. Why?”


Me: ”I want to make sure I scribble out a note in blood that you told me this payment technique was a good idea.”


Them: ”Uhhh… sir, no, uhhh… it is most certainly not okay.”


Me: ”Gee, there goes my phone again. Darn static. Guess I need to get Sprint PCS. Next thing you know I’ll be bringing home Charo.”