Today is Mark Wahlberg’s birthday. There was a party a few nights ago in France and Matt Damon was nice enough to stop by and
wish him well. Isn’t that great? Matt is supposed to pick up my mail and take out my trash once a week, but has he done it?
Nooooo.


I am both bored and extremely
busy. I have a lot of things to do but within a small deadline. It seems like the earth has started to spin slower and days are
getting longer. Feeling tired all day. Drinking coffee for lunch. I need a straight Mountain Dew intravenous drip to make
it through. It’s either me, the climate adjustment, or those aliens that abduct me from the Best Western every night and
force me to watch Howdy Doody re-runs while wearing bunny slippers.


Went to place for dinner on Monday called the Ambler Grill which was established in 1950. Atmosphere was nice. Very 50’s. I asked what they were
famous for. ”The cheesesteaks are good.” Right. They’re just cheesesteaks here. Nobody calls them a Philly cheesesteak.
It was really good. Not just regular good. Good good. Wish I had another one right now. Today I hit the Subway located
right outside the hotel for dinner. It was built inside two real subway cars they have parked outside on a piece of track.
Another restaurant next to that (that I have not visited) is called
Palace of Asia. At first I thought it was some creepy brothel. But no, although it’s an Indian restaurant. Not
sure why they’re calling it Palace of Asia. It’s the Palace part that makes me feel icky. If they called it something
else like Kitchen of Asia or Food That’s From Asia. Specifics are good.


I hear some girl screaming outside the door down the hallway. Damn perverts. Get a room. Oh… Right.


Why am I mimicking Tom Green? He married Drew Barrymore, didn’t he? How can I lose?