Last night I dreamt that Dick Cheney was my boss. I was trying to join a conference call that he was leading and the telephone I was using was stuck on mute. I ended up hearing Cheney bellyaching about how I was late for the meeting. This eventually degraded into a full out assault on my character. After several moments of trying to fix the phone, the mute button released — and I let Cheney have it. I think he fired me at the end of the phone call, but I didn’t care. Stupid Dick.


On Wednesday, I drove to KFC with my coworkers. We passed a Cumberland Farms gas station where gas was going for $2.89 a gallon. Someone mentioned that station was always all over the place. When we returned 45 minutes later, the price had been raised to $3.16. Today (Friday) it was $3.56. Nice. Whenever I think of gas prices going over $4, I think of this terrible movie that came out in the 80s called Parasite. It was Demi Moore’s first movie ever — not that it mattered to me. I believe I went with John Hall, Mandy Hall and my sister. When the movie begins it’s the future — 1992 — and there’s a slow pan past this real sh***y town. The camera stops on a gas station with astronomical prices ($47 a gallon, like, omigod). It’s the only scene in the entire film that caused any audience reaction (a laugh). Although the scene is fleeting, it’s the only part of the entire film I can remember. Pfft. Well, that, and the movie being in 3-D. Mmmm. 3-D.