Amazing week. Plane crashed in Queens. Christian workers held in Afghanistan were freed. My company stopped 401K matching benefits, Hertz
upgraded me to a kick ass New Jersey green Ford Mustang for *free* and I’m starting my Thanksgiving vacation today. So, some good, some bad. I got an email from
my wise friend Jason who told me I should shave my face ASAP. Having facial hair purposely makes it harder to find a girl due to the quirks of preference. I’ve
resolved not to grow anything beyond my usual John Cusack 3-day growth. The goatee went out in 1996, apparently, and everyone who has one is married. I should
have noticed that. Oh, Jason also informs me that most of my journals have to do with my finding a girlfriend. True. To make amends, I’ll be sure to squeeze in
more references to sex, violence and rock n’ roll from now on.
Now that the company doesn’t match 401K benefits, I am considering ways to tide my finances over in the inteirm. The smartest woman on earth (my roommate) informs
me that one can get their direct deposit placed into multiple accounts. Choices like putting some money into a savings account or into any number of accounts are
possible. An e*trade account, maybe? I haven’t had much success with the stock market. It kicked my 401K’s value in the ass this past year, losing 30% of its
size. An unnamed source in my HR department was saying, ”You should keep your money where it is cause everything is in it for the long run.” Riiiight. I switched
to Government Securities recently which have been relatively untouched by the decline this past year. I think they only lost .5% on September 11th and even then it went
right back up and started to profit only a few days later. I know what you’re thinking. ”Mark, what about the sex and the violence?” Okay, okay. I’ll think of something.
I was recently moved into this wide open workspace along with the rest of my coworkers in order to expedite our finding each other and getting things done.
It worked! In the past I’ve
worked with clients who tried something similar: isolating key business personnel out in a converted grocery store in northwest Houston. It didn’t work.
The point of that project was doomed from the start, unfortunately.
I can’t be specific about it due to confidentiality agreements, but with the project we are doing in Philly is turning out to be an ideal arrangement.
I was in a vacuum before. Now I can see every dang person I know by turning my head 50 degrees. I think we’ve done as much today as we’ve done all of last week combined.
I think this same technique could possibly be applied to other projects. Lawn care, for example. I think if everyone were to coordinate mowing their lawns at the same time,
there would be less trouble
dealing with the blow-by grass and junk that gets stuck in the gutter in front of my house. How about if everyone on the freeway were to drive bumper to bumper and equally
distribute the weight of all cars together. We’d get where we were going lots faster and I’m sure we’d save gas. I’m sure we’d also careen into the side of the freeway
ramp and die a bloody death. Okay, so not all of my ideas are winners. At least I covered the violence part of my quota. Come back tomorrow for the rest.