Is your elbow not performing up to par? Do you see other people’s elbows and think to yourself, ”Man, I wish my elbow could compare!” Well, think silently to yourself no more! Introducing Super Elbow 9000. This herbicidal homeopathic ketoneurotic miracle drug can now increase your elbow size and width in only a matter of days — NOT WEEKS! Yes, that’s right. This isn’t a joke. We’re totally seriously serious. No surgery or harsh chemical peels are necessary with our pill-based product. Just take two every morning before your daily elbow exercise rituals and BAM! Big ass elbow. Thank us later. But act fast now — for more information and to receive a free product sample, call 1-ME-WANT-BIG-ELBO
*Please note — you were sent this email because at some point in the space time continuum you chose to opt-in on elbow enlargement products, most likely while drunk and surfing AMIHOTORNOT.com looking for dates. If you wish to opt-out of our emails, please reply with a 1000 word paragraph detailing what you were thinking on the morning of 2-25-1994 at around 2 PM.