Plans are shaping up. I have confirmation that I will be attending the premiere for ”Planet of the Apes” in New York on
July 23rd. One night after Madonna. Maybe she’ll attend the premiere? That would be more than kick ass. Because tickets are
so tight I may be the only person going according to my gracious source. I think things will calm down with ”Rock Star” when that premieres in September.
Need to figure out how to break it to the dudes in the office who think they’re going. Maybe a nice jar of candied
pecans will soften the blow. Hmmm. Maybe some grass brownies would do? They probably wouldn’t even notice.
”Wow, I’m even more higher than I just was!”
Was clicking through the channels here at the hotel when suddenly butt named people were on my TV screen. I examined the
remote and noted I was not watching HBO or ”Sex and the City.” I haven’t seen any episodes of that show (”Sex”) since
New Year’s. So, anyway, there was porno on my
TV (or pr0n, if you prefer). Of course I turned away and covered my eyes. I then ran into the corner and cried for a few
minutes. I then recovered and tried to improve the reception by fiddling with the tuning knobs. Dammit. No good. It turns out I was watching someone’s
pay per view movie because the tape ended and this selection screen came up immediately thereafter. So now someone has
been trying to figure out what they want to watch next. They’ve been toying with making a selection for the last 15 minutes.
Pick something already! I wish I knew what room they were in, because I have recommendations.
I ordered room service two nights ago (Monday night). Got the Tandoori Grill special. Remember, The Palace of Asia indian
restaurant is attached to the hotel, so that’s the source of all the food. It wasn’t that great.
I keep forgetting how bland some Indian foods are. They can be spicey on occasion but not
Texas Spicey in this instance. This Indian food dude shows up at my door to deliver my dinner. I sign for the food. He kinda
waits there so I put two and two together to mean he’s waiting for his tip. All I have are twenties. I ask him if he has
change. He says he does. He pulls out two fives and a ten and hands them to me. I hand him my twenty. I give him
a five and he starts to hand me the twenty BACK. I’m like, ”No, no… you have to keep that.” He insists. I switch the
money back to where I’m holding my original twenty. The conversation then goes like this.
Me: ”Okay, I have twenty, and you have twenty. Right?”
Food Dude: ”Okay. No problem. Right you are sir.”
Me: ”So, let’s switch our money and… now… we both still have twenty, right?”
Food Dude: ”Okay, we both have twenty, yes yes.”
Me: ”Now I’m gonna give you five… so now you have twenty-five. Get it? Twenty-five. That’s five more than twenty.”
Food Dude: ”Ohhhhhhhhhh!”
Me: ”Riiiiiight.” [slams door]
