the next great city is...
2005.09.28 20.58
So, when are you guys going to move up here and live near me? [sigh]. In other news, here's a picture that I took last month of Lindsay Lohan and Van, my accomplice from the FOUR BROTHERS premiere in New York City. Doesn't Lindsay look pissed off? I think we interrupted her food abstinence party.
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praha haha! lmao!
2005.09.25 22.56
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rita is coming
2005.09.22 7.56
Watch all the cameras in Houston as the storm approaches. I have to admit it -- I'm freaked out.
On Monday I was walking out of the courthouse after inquiring about my defensive driving situation. That would be the situation where I'd rather just pay the fine than take the class. I decided I'd still try to comply after evaluating the costs. There was a guy in camouflage eying my every step as I was crossing Houston Avenue. I adjusted my path but he countered with by adjusting his. Foiled! When our paths crossed we both stopped and he looked me square in the eye and said, ''Have you thought about giving some time to your country?'' I felt like telling him that I was too busy giving them tax money. Instead, I told him I was 36 years old and I'd done terrible on the AZVAB test. That's some free test they trick you into taking when you're a high school senior. I wish I'd realized this test was designed so that any moron could pass it before I spent the time to take it. It was like sending out an invitation for the armed forces to harass me all summer long before I started college. For some reason they thought I'd be attracted to the idea of joining the Army band for whatever reason. The band? Are you kidding? I wanted to join The Black Ops and kill people with a sniper rifle while hiding in abandoned houses. YEAH!!!!!1 I never managed to share that bit of information. Instead, I began answering my phone pretending to be an old lady named Phyllis. They eventually stopped calling.
On the train listening to Bill Hicks and the next stop is 11th Street Station (also called Market East). We just stopped at Temple University and a few of the beautiful babies just stepped about. This one girl to my right, for example, has a copy of Little Women on her lap. She's really glad that she did something. I can't hear that much. Crap, my stop is next. Gotta pack up.
Now it's Thursday morning and I'm on the R5 heading to Ft. Washington while listening to Chemical Brothers. My laptop is plugged into an outlet on the train! It took me awhile to discover them since there are only two outlets on each car near the middle under seats that have no window. You get to see the back of everyone's head from this vantage point. It's hard to pick out the beautiful babies when you can only see their ponytail. Is anyone getting my Swingers reference when I use the term The Beautiful Babies? Perhaps I should throw in a ''Vegas, baby!'' and a ''You're so money!'' for good measure.
When I got home yesterday I cleaned my dog's ears as the vet had found something irritated when Chew was there last weekend. I then mulled over going out to Nocturne night club. I've been very lazy about going out with no wing man since it seems to be twice as hard to meet people that way (for me). Instead, I worked on a redesign of MarkShields.com and updated all of my phpBB boards to the latest version of the software. I have to decide if I need more moderators for my Real World Key West site which has spawned off the Real World Austin site. My Real World Philly site, in contrast, is completely dead. My RW Austin people are so dedicated -- it's awesome.
I've been getting into the habit of always having my Canon Digital Rebel with me so I can take photos whenever necessary. I always shoot in Manual mode and, since I don't carry my light meter with me, I tend to use the Automatic mode only so I can get an idea of where I should be setting the f-stop and exposure time. You can shoot images in RAW format which saves all image data thus allowing you to adjust everything with software later on. I need to carry a white balance card with me. You take a picture of this card before you start shooting so you can correctly adjust the white balance in the editor later on. In other words, the card has a square that IS white, and you can use that to adjust everything else so that the colors adjust to account for what is white. It sounds racist, but I swear it's not.
elvis presley's ssn
2005.09.21 8.40
Standing on the median at the Houston Intercontinental Airport Terminal C pick-up location, I could only gnash my teeth and seethe at the incompetence that was on display. This guy directing traffic -- I like to call him Mr. I Have A Penlight And I Can Use It To Direct Traffic -- was accomplishing nothing in regards to increasing the number of cars coming past him. There were orange traffic cones reducing what should have been three lanes of traffic into one. I suspect this was to accommodate the small size of his penlight. You can only wave that thing at one lane of traffic, maybe two. Three lanes and you might as well paint "Hit Me" on your forehead. He would constantly allow people to stop in the middle of this lane and pick up a passenger. Regardless of where anyone stops, the following sequence always occurs:
- The exchange of heartfelt hugs/handshakes/verbal greetings
- The picking up of packages/suitcases/crap that the traveler has carried from his/her point of origin
- The discussion of whether putting said packages/suitcases/crap in the trunk or backseat would be most appropriate
- The "last loop" around the car/truck/SUV to make sure packages/suitcases/crap aren't left behind accidentally
- The excruciatingly slow departure because the driver can't stop making eye contact with his/her new travel companion.
Penlight Guy: [nods his head and tries to ignore me]
Me: ''You're not doing any good directing traffic like this. You can't keep letting the lane get blocked!''
Penlight Guy: ''What do you want me to do? Make them move?''
Entire Crowd and Myself: ''YES!''
Penlight Guy: ''Oh.''
Me: ''You've got to be the man. You can't let these people walk all over you. You've got The Penlight, for crying out loud.''
Penlight Guy did a much better job of directing after we had this public exchange. I think I embarrassed him somewhat by questioning his penlight waving abilities. He was now moving beyond the small area he'd been standing in and his hand gestures had became more specific about where a car could stop. I'm sure by now he's forgotten all that he's learned and slipped back into his old habits. I wish I'd gotten his supervisor's phone number so I could keep tabs on him. Good times.
This next paragraph is my not-so-funny story. Sorry. Bear with me. I swear this is being done so writing my memoires will be a breeze.
Saturday saw my attempt to get the Mitsubishi Eclipse inspected. I decided to hit up My Mechanic, the generic fix-it shop on Jones road that had given the Batmobile a hard time during my last visit. I mean, come on, flashing headlights? What's wrong with that? Picky b*stards. They didn't even offer to diagnose and fix them so I could pass inspection. The Batmobile continues to sit in storage awaiting electrical system diagnosis. My Eclipse nearly passed but I'd changed the battery last time I was in town and this yielded failure. ''Not enough data'' was the complaint from the inspector. I was told to drive the car around and come back later. It was already near the end of the day, so I decided to bring the car back on Monday morning. I barely drove the car until Monday morning reared its ugly head. I found a nice 2.5 mile triangular loop on FM 1960, Falcon Road, and Windfern. In no time I'd driven 20 miles. I returned to My Mechanic and passed. The only downside to the story is that my car radio was not functioning because of the battery issue. After power is restored to it you need The Secret Code to set things right. I thought I knew that code. Wrong. I was completely locked out after making three incorrect attempts. Anti-theft technology! Bleah.
return to prague
2005.09.15 22.47
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slight delay
2005.09.13 9.56
Yesterday I was marveling at how fast and efficient Philadelphia's SEPTA regional rail system has been for me. Today I was wondering how long the ''switch failure'' was going to hold us up. Answer? Fifteen minutes. We miss the bus connection when we're more than eleven minutes late. This causes people to whine out loud and say things like, ''That bus driver is supposed to wait for us'' which is not true at all. The busdriver can wait until he/she has to go do his/her loop and possibly pick up people for a return trip. I'm able to comprehend this. I made a meager attempt to reason with this older woman who was quite vocal about how stupid the busdriver was for leaving. If he'd been waiting for us and then left when we'd boarded, he'd have left behind the people from the next train. Duh. As for the ''switch failure'' delay -- I thought that's when twins try to impersonate each other and screw something up. Stupid twins. What are they doing on the railroad!?Sad news about the closing of Six Flag's Astroworld. I was just there! I should have taken pictures. I understand that my mom visited this park while she was still pregnant with me. I grew up less than a mile away and we'd frequently walk there. I think I might try to go once again this weekend to get my nostalgia on one last time.
shut down
2005.09.07 20.21
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$3.16 and rising
2005.09.04 17.18
Last night I dreamt that Dick Cheney was my boss. I was trying to join a conference call that he was leading and the telephone I was using was stuck on mute. I ended up hearing Cheney bellyaching about how I was late for the meeting. This eventually degraded into a full out assault on my character. After several moments of trying to fix the phone, the mute button released -- and I let Cheney have it. I think he fired me at the end of the phone call, but I didn't care. Stupid Dick.On Wednesday, I drove to KFC with my coworkers. We passed a Cumberland Farms gas station where gas was going for $2.89 a gallon. Someone mentioned that station was always all over the place. When we returned 45 minutes later, the price had been raised to $3.16. Today (Friday) it was $3.56. Nice. Whenever I think of gas prices going over $4, I think of this terrible movie that came out in the 80s called Parasite. It was Demi Moore's first movie ever -- not that it mattered to me. I believe I went with John Hall, Mandy Hall and my sister. When the movie begins it's the future -- 1992 -- and there's a slow pan past this real sh***y town. The camera stops on a gas station with astronomical prices ($47 a gallon, like, omigod). It's the only scene in the entire film that caused any audience reaction (a laugh). Although the scene is fleeting, it's the only part of the entire film I can remember. Pfft. Well, that, and the movie being in 3-D. Mmmm. 3-D.
i swear this is the last time...
2005.09.02 12.09
hurricane relief
2005.09.01 9.13
A friend of mine from Houston sent me this CNN interview of a hurricane Katrina survivor in Biloxi, Mississippi. Be warned -- this is a heart-wrenching interview. If you have a few dollars to spare then please donate to the Red Cross by clicking here. We now return you to your regularly scheduled Super Genius programming.
