pinch me

2000.10.11 11.34

Finding myself faced with mysteries of life. What do Canadians call American cheese? And do they call Canadian bacon the same thing? Maybe they call the cheese North American cheese. I don't get it. Did Canada invent the Canadian bacon? Does it have to come from Canada? What if someone in Ohio makes it exactly the same way Canadians do... what the hell then? Called Domino's Pizza in effort to resolve this and started quizzing phone guy. Asked him if their Canadian bacon was really Canadian. Bastards are quick to hang up you if you sound like a smart ass. Called back and asked if they had Canadian Cheese. Hung up on me again! On third call a manager answers and asks me if I'm the guy asking stupid questions. I say, "Do you mean this coupon isn't any good?" Confused manager guy asks if I've been talking crazy about Canadian bacon. I say, "This coupon doesn't mention Canadian bacon. Do I have to order Canadian bacon for the coupon to work?" Manager guy apologizes and says he confused me with someone else. Asked for my order. I say, "I'd like one pizza, raw, with Canadian bacon, but only as long as you can document that the bacon is in fact from Canada." Click! Decided that tomorrow I'm calling the Canadian Embassey to clear this up.