gravity

2001.02.13 14.33

There was a label on the back of my Batman costume that said, ''Warning, wearing this costume does not mean you are really Batman!'' I am at home now. I've been trapped at my parent's house since Sunday. It hasn't been pretty. Morphine isn't pretty, either. If you have the means, avoid it! Sleeping on my parent's leather couch for two days has also been just as painful as my actual injuries. I will write more about this when I'm better able to. I have an orthopedist appointment tomorrow. Gonna hit them up for a super wheelchair. Wondering what effect this will have on my vacation to Mardi Gras later this month. I may be the only crippled non-drinking reveler on Bourbon Street. Life is cruel.

Super-Genius Mark Shields returns from his descent to the asteroid Eros which allowed the NEAR-Shoemaker satellite to make a soft-landing. Other than fracturing both ankles and causing severe pain and discomfort, the mission was a success. Upon his return to Earth, Mr. Shields was quoted as saying, ''I want my mommy!!!'' See related press release for more details.