second life

2007.01.29 20.04

On Friday night I got a call from Cranky McCrankster Girl -- also known as Breanna. Breanna and ''The Boyfriend'' Chris live upstairs on the 4th floor in the official party loft apartment. I've already frequented their casa twice in so many weeks. How did I end up there? I was driving home after a mild shopping binge at IKEA when I got the call from someone claiming to be in my HR Department. After I figured out who was really calling me, I was off to meet the gang down the street at Drink. I'd offered to drive, but that makes no sense when you live steps away from the nightlife (and I love to boogie). My fellow yoga bud Rachel was quick to assured me that the service at Drink ''sucks major bigtime.'' This was quickly proven when I found myself unable to order a drink from Drink. Irony! I eventually followed her advice and walked to the bar where I purchased a dirty martini. Mmmm. While I slowly imbibing, someone noticed this guy outside the window who was giving out free drink cards to people as they came in from the parking lot. Breanna and I plotted how we could best simulate people who had just arrived. I insisted that we should walk all the way around the block in order to appear like Hey We Just Parked people. To add to the look, I loudly dangled my car keys and made my best I Just Turned Off The Ignition face. We scored three tickets each. Nice! We returned to our table and showed off our booty, so another couple of folks decided to raise the bar by walking only halfway out and swinging around the parking lot. Success again! Now that it seemed so easy, two more people simply walked out the back door -- a mere 50 feet away from free ticket guy. Free tickets were had. D'oh. I wish I'd known about that before suggesting we walk half a mile. At least I was still wearing my jacket --which oddly enough I've lost somehow. Hmmm. There was more drinking and lots of dancing and I had a great time. I had such a great time that when I finally left the party loft and got to my apartment, my dog rushed right past me into the hallway. I didn't figure this out for at least 10 minutes. I was snacking on flatbread crackers when I realized the pooch wasn't begging. In fact, he wasn't there at all. I did a quick search of the entire house until I figured the only place left that I hadn't looked was outside. Chew was out there, quite confused, apparently waiting for me to figure out what I'd just done. Good thing we live in condo with a nice heated hallway. Geesh. So yeah. I need to stick with little beers from now on. Good times.

In other events over the weekend, I got a iRobot Scooba to mop my floor. I had to make my purchase from Target as Best Buy no longer carried the Scooba. Funny thing -- I was at the Best Buy and ended up talking to the same girl I spoke to last year about my buying a washer-dryer combo. This was the week that I tried out speaking in a British accent. That was especially hard to do as I kept wanting to break out laughing while I tried to surpress my Texas-Philly combo accent. The Scooba, to get back on topic, kicks ass. It kept getting lost under my computer rollaway table. I'll need to work on blocking that, but otherwise it was good times.

I've got to get back to work. I have this estimate that I've been trying to focus on but I've had about 16 other things going on at the same time. One last thing I did on Sunday was to log into the game Second Life. I created an avatar which I think looks somewhat like me. I dunno. I may have to do a side by side. Most people make their avatars totally hot, but I figure I'd rather go for realism as much as possible. Now all I need to do is buy some pitch black pants and a shirt to match up. Check it out:

sulfur

2007.01.25 18.27

Did I say I was going to speak further upon the greatness that is DONNIE DARKO: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT? Well, sorry. Don't have time. I do have enough time to congratulate Mark Wahlberg on his Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor. Wahlberg steals the show every time he's in a scene in THE DEPARTED. Go see it you must. Now, where were we? Oh. That last YouTube video I posted featured a heavy sulfur gas, I believe. In that same vein, I'm now going to post a video that will teach you things you didn't know about Sulfur. Watch it all the way through -- you will be rewarded greatly.

anti-gravity ideas

2007.01.22 8.33

Saw DONNIE DARKO: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT at the Minneapolis Uptown Theater midnight show on Saturday night. That place is great. More on that later. In the meantime...

42 simpson impressions

2007.01.12 19.10

I shot this after checkin' out the videos of a couple guys doing a bunch of celebrity voices on YouTube. I do 42 voices although I miss on around 3 or 4 (especially Bart). I loves me the Simpsons! For some impressions I piped in audio through my headphones so I could hear the voice the same time I was doing it, but for the majority of these it's just me reading the lines off Simpsons quotes sites. I do: Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Selma, Maggie, Grandpa Simpson, Apu, Barney, Flanders, Krusty, Mayor Quimby, Milhouse, Moe, Martin, Otto, Principal Skinner, Ralph, Chief Wiggum, Snake, Groundskeeper Willy, Doctor Hibbert, Troy McClure, Patrick Stewart, Lunchlady Doris, McBaine, Reverend Lovejoy, Patty, Comic Book Guy, Kent Brockman, Carl, Number 15, Number 6, Doctor Nick Rivera, Snowball II, Superintendent Chalmers, Itchy, Scratchy, Kang, Konos, Mr. Smithers, and Mr. Burns.

directv to the future

2007.01.10 22.01

the last few days of 2006

2007.01.04 12.27

I was checking and rechecking my phone endlessly as noon approached. I could see gray skies through an adjacent office window. During one of my clock checking benders, I got into a brief planning discussion over a Team Project we're working on. It was finally noon before the conversation had ended. I spared no time grabbing my jacket and running out the door. I took the stairs down one flight, made a few turns, slipped out the backdoor, and walked briskly down the parking garage driveway to the lot below where my rental car stood waiting. I keep a SIRIUS satellite receiver in the rental car, so Howard Stern and Robin Quivers’ voices filled the frozen air as soon as I'd turned the ignition key. I put the car in drive and unceremoniously pealed away. I believe I nearly ran over only *two* people this time. Ahem.

My dog was already boarded at the kennel, so all I needed to do was pack and get to the airport. I’d started a load of critical items laundry (e.g. my underoos and socks) earlier that morning, so all I had to do was hit the dryer, pack, and split. When I opened my apartment door, the smell of burnt rubber permeated the air. Curious as to the source of the stink, I immediately walked over to my super computer MONSTERBOX. No problems there. I then turned my attention to the washing machine. I lifted open the lid and saw the machine was still full of water. In lieu of totally flipping out, I restarted the rinse cycle. It quickly became apparent that this freakin’ machine had other plans. Darting nervous glances at the time on my phone, I opted to dump my wet clothes into a garbage bag which I immediately took into the bathroom to hang them to dry. Even now as I’m typing this I have no idea if they dried successfully or if I’m going to come back to a smelly fungal bonanza.

The trip to the airport was quite excruciating thanks to the first snow of the year. This was big blobby wet messy snow and it spewed everywhere. Traffic crawled along, but I felt comfort in the knowledge that the airport would be in a similar situation. When I left Minneapolis for the Thanksgiving holidays, I left work with only 90 minutes until take-off and I still hadn’t packed. Hell yes I made it. Today I’d given myself three hours. There was plenty of time to deal with the traffic snarl. We were moving so slowly that I had time to play with the rental car’s traction control system in the snow. I’m not sure what the driver following behind me thought of my swerving around. Drunk? Drugs? Doofus?

I bought a fish meal at Burger King prior to my flight’s departure. Fish meal. Yes. I believe tropical fish are fed something called fishmeal, but I’m sure Burger King only uses that stuff on their salad. My flight was uneventful. I arrived and met my dad at baggage claim where we waited for at least a half hour until my one bag finally made an appearance. We left and went straight to Texas Land and Cattle. Usual meal: spicy caesar no croutons, chipotle tuna steak, and garlic mashed potatoes. Mmmm! You know you want it.

I was working remotely at the 290 and Tidwell Panera Bread the next day. There’s a sibling project that I’m helping out with. I figured this would be a working vacation anyway, so I did my best to at least get comfortable. I found the egg soufflé was tolerable as a breakfast item, but the Fiji Apple Salad was definitely kick ass.

On Friday night, I went to Numbers accidentally wearing my special shoes. Have I not mentioned these? They offset your feet at a three degree angle. This works out your calf muscles, lower and upper back, and improves posture. I lost 3 pounds just standing in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles wearing these shoes. Good times. I spent the evening visiting with Tom, a Numbers regular I've known for 10 years. I met a really sweet massage therapist girl that needed 50 hours of interning to get licensed. If you want an hour long Swedish massage for $35, let me know and I’ll drop you her info. Sadly, this was the only time I got to hang out with my Number's crew. Wah.

Christmas was Monday morning so I had to get on the ball the next morning and figure out my game plan. I got my dad a sweet 42 inch Phillips plasma television on the 19th from Amazon.com. It was supposed to arrive January 2nd, but instead it arrived that morning. Yay, Amazon. Mom, sis, the niece, and the brother in law were getting gift checks. Olga and Rosy (my maid and her assistant) got a bonus. Hey, come to think of it, if you need awesome maid service in Houston Texas, call Olga at 713-771-6908 Monday through Friday. She is awesome! 10 years of experience and references available (including myself). She vacuums, cleans floors, the kitchen, the bathroom, and dusts. I have her come by every other week and the house looks like I’m anal retentive. Okay, I am anal retentive. Didn’t you read the Betsy report a few blogs back? My younger niece got a mini camera and DVD that I picked up late Sunday night at pretty much the last possible minute from a Best Buy way out of town on 290 only minutes from closing time. I was close to the ex-girlfriend’s house but didn’t bother to do a drive by. I haven’t done an ex-girlfriend drive by in years, so what’s the bother? Hmmm. Who was that last drive by? It was probably the aforementioned Betsy. Yay.

Christmas came and went. I got some clothes, lots of DVDs, and gift cards for Starbucks and The Buckle. I eventually got new shoes from Buckle, and lots of coffee from Starbucks. Mmmm. Coffee.

I was camping out at Panera Bread the day after Christmas when some stranger having trouble with his laptop’s wireless asked for my assistance. At first I thought he was asking anyone with a laptop if they could help him. I’ve become a bit introverted thanks to my time in Philadelphia. INTJ is the common term I’ve heard as of late, although it doesn’t really make an sense. Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging. I can dig on the Thinking and Judging part. The Introverted part is a Philly side effect, like I said. The intuitive part must imply that you don’t need to be an extrovert to know what people you’re interacting with are thinking. That’s hit or miss with me. I’m always wondering if I’m being nice enough because I tend to be to the point and direct a lot of the time. Anyway, back to the guy need help with the wireless. It took me three minutes to get him going. No problem. We spoke off and on during the next few days. Self proclaimed Rocket Technologist Chris Kirby is also know as Kirbo Turbo. Chris’ moniker reassures me that my Super Genius moniker is completely normal. A project manager that worked for me this past summer cited the Super Genius thing as an issue when she left. I can see where she’d make a comment like that, though, not being a super genius and all. ;-) I'm kidding Deborah -- you know I love ya. You know, like on old high school notes passed between friends. That whole Love Ya thing. Okay, nevermind.

I ended up working a full work week and then some as I approached New Years. I have never been on my cell phone for 12 hours in a row before. First time for everything. The people I work with are so intelligent, though, that it’s quite exciting to solve problems with them. It also doesn’t hurt that they’re also witty goofballs. We eventually got things working as the zero hour approached. January 2nd 2007 will be the true test. I’m feeling good about it. No stress.

Hey! My laptop’s on board right mouse clicker thing clicks again. I missed the clicking during the week. Clicking is good.

It’s January 1st and I’m flying back to Minneapolis as I’m typing this. My resolutions for the New Year include figuring out how to move on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky, getting all my stuff moved out of my house in Houston so I can rent it out, and getting back on my pumped up workout schedule. My muscle tone has been good enough to tide me over the last few months, but Spider-Man needs his bulging muscles! That reminds me -- I filled out a quiz online that attempts to figure out which super hero you are. No surprise here: