follow the white rabbit
2000.09.12 18.30
Got yelled at on phone. Plotting revenge by putting together list of everyone who has ever pissed me off. Plan to make them involuntary members of Wrestling Federation of America. Added phone yelling person from today to list. Still room for more wrestlers. Thought about CBS show Big Brother during drive to work. Realized cast on show resembled characters from Star Trek. Came up with following:
| Jamie is Janeway. Drops family to leave on long missions not to be heard from. Into temporal mechanics. Into chick flicks. Recommend that she braid hair Brittany Spears style whenever possible. |
| Eddie is Chakotay. Socially impaired. Works out. Honest. Straight shooter. Recommend him for role in Secret Service protecting Al Gore's nose. |
| William is Tuvok. Emotionless. Disregard for others feelings. It's either his way or the milky way. Recommend that he attend anger management classes and be forced to watch Teletubbies for 48 hours without a break. |
| Brittany is Torres. Bitchy. Snuggley. Built like a Klingon. Weird hair. Ridged. Recommend that she send me personalized photos from her nude Burning Man experience. Trip to Houston Nightclub #'s is also in order. |
| Josh is Lt. Paris. Smug. Repressed. Likes to sulk all day and bemoan. Gets blamed for everything. Recommend that he watch A Clockwork Orange while drinking tequila. In Russia. Not sure why. Bet he's never been to Russia. |
| Curtis is Harry Kim. Into the cuddling. Into Seven. Laughs like he's on speed. Esoteric. Recommend that he get a high profile customer service job at Blockbuster Video. |
| George is Neelix. Chief Moral Officer. Organizer. Furry. Weird hair texture. Comes up with dumb ideas. Likes to cook. Likes to eat. A lot. I mean, look at him. Recommend he not inform future roofer buddies that he was green haired dude from reality show on TV. |
| Karen is Seven. Grumpy. Whiney. Lives to complain. Resistance is futile. Calculating. Last interesting freak left in house and now gone. Recommend putting her back into house but giving her $50,000 cash for doing so. Catch? She has to keep the cash in giant pockets. |
| Jordan is Kess. Young. Curvy. Did I mention young? Dudes dig her. Got kicked off ship just when she started getting interesting. Recommend she hook up with Brittany and star in cheesy Showtime After Dark movie. |
| Cassandra is Guinan. Okay, different series, sue me. But check it. Wise. Knowledgeable. Makes big deal with her hair. Keeps history to herself. Recommend she tour colleges giving speech on "How To Live Alongside The Insane." |
Star Trek is trademarked by Paramount Pictures. Big Brother is maybe a trademark of CBS (or maybe George Orwell). I'm not affiliated with them. So there.
