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Mark Shields
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lestat / statistics / denied

2001.04.10 20.47

Good day. Asked lots of questions. Got lots of answers. Hotel breakfast food is bad. Despite this knowledge, I just ordered room service. Escargot, caesar salad, buffalo wings and a Heineken. I'm watching the heinous tv edit of Interview with a Vampire on UPN. During the breaks I have noticed the ads for the new show Chains of Love are intriguing. I knew they chained a girl to four guys, but they also chain a guy to four girls. Wow! How do I sign up for that? Do I have to pay someone? Can I pick the girls? How do they all go to the bathroom? What about driving a car? I assume they don't go to their jobs (since they obviously can't be in 5 places at once).

Guy in the next room must have the volume on his TV set to the max. I am considering finding a really bad Tejano station on the radio and blasting away. Jerk. Perhaps an anonymous call is in order? If nothing works, I'm going to need more beer.

Do you recall that Jerry, Kramer, Elaine and George were all sent to jail at the end of Seinfeld for being themselves? Do you think that if they ever made a one hour special that they would still be in jail? Or perhaps a TV movie? They could adapt Stephen King's ''The Shawshank Redemption'' and call it ''The Seinfeld Redemption.'' Jerry and George would have to take the Tim Robbin's role. Kramer would take the Morgan Freeman role. Elaine would have to be killed off early in the movie and the blame pinned on Jerry and George. Neuman could play the warden. And to make things more interesting, the dialog should get translated from English into Japanese and then back into English. All your base are belong to us.

I just got back from a hunt for a soft drink. I'm on the 6th floor. I can get to every floor except the 10th. Every vending machine was sold out. Needless to say, Mark=Pissed. I drank some water out of the sink. I put it in a glass first. As if that makes it safer. Tasted okay. I'm not dead yet.

I stayed up all night and just drove to work to pick up my laptop and then on to Hobby airport. Hobby airport is very ugly. If you haven't been there before, it's like visiting an Airport in 1974. It literally is untouched by the ravages of time. I kept watching the floor to avoid stepping on the aluminum can pull top thingies. I bought a quick breakfast from the U-Tote-M store. Watched ''Good Morning Houston'' while waiting for the plane to arrive. Stared at the asbestos fibers hanging from the ceiling. Some kid switched to PBS and we all had to watch ''The Electric Company'' for the remainder of our wait. Saw Richard Nixon walk by. Ah. Good times.

Slept a bit while on the plane. The act of landing woke me up. That's good. It means I can sleep on a plane and still expect to wake up in case we crash land. Southwest Airlines has an open seating policy. Sucks. I had to sit next to The Leaner Guy who kept leaning over and reaching into his pocket and invading my tiny personal space. Bastard. I moved when we landed in New Orleans to a much better seat. Got to sit next to an empty seat the rest of the way. Two really loud kids in the seat ahead of me ruined the magic of the moment, however. This is visit #4 to Jacksonville for me. I am here to add functionality and integrate. I am here to make things more intuitive. I even dared to suggest I would bring ''fun'' into the picture. People were scared, but there is nothing to fear. ''Fun'' is easy. I have the secret Fun How-To manual they stopped making in 1973. Bought it from the airport gift shop.

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