genitorturers

2001.04.20 22.00

Not sure what I've done to deserve this. Here is a brief list of the recent experiences I've had with problem, solution and lesson learned:

1. Problem: DeLorean is overheating so I took it to the DeLorean Motor Company in Southwest Houston. Diagnosis was that the head gasket is warped and requires 2K of repair work to fix. Solution: The turbo upgrade for a DeLorean costs 5K and adds 80 horsepower to the car. Coincidentally, it will also resolve the problem with the head gasket. Lesson Learned: Don't spend 2K to fix a problem when you can spend 5K to fix a problem.
   
   
2. Problem: After leaving the DeLorean shop, I spied a small object flying off the back of a Republic Waste truck and headed right for me. I changed lanes. The object suddenly changes lanes and matched my heading. I slowed down hoping to get the thing to go under my car. It hit the front grill and made a nasty little impact gash. Solution: I called the phone number on the side of the truck and bitched. They claim that they'll help me with a claim, but so far my calls have gone unreturned and I have not had satisfaction. Lesson Learned: Never underestimate flying trash and its ability to find a rare car to damage.
   
   
3. Problem: DeLorean died on 290 in the evening while driving home. Called AAA and waited on the feeder street sidewalk. A drugged up hispanic dude walked up to me and asked if he could use my cell phone. Solution: I replied, "I'm with the Houston Police Department and, if you don't want to become involved with the bust that is about to go down, I suggest you start walking to the next red light as fast as possible." I then made a little hand motion to an imaginary person across the street, as if I was signaling them not to do something. The guy took off running. Lesson Learned: Why share when you can scare?
   
   
4. Problem: I did all of this driving because I thought the Houston Art Car Ball and Parade were happening this week. I was wrong. It's happening next week. Solution: I'm going to wait seven days until the actual day of the Ball arrives before I try to attend it. Lesson Learned: Don't get ahead of yourself.
   
   
5. Problem: Driving to work on Friday in my Eclipse I heard what I thought was the patch on top of my ragtop fluttering loose wildly in the wind. I eventually pulled over to see how much of the patch was left. It wasn't the patch at all. The shroud around my front passenger tire was entangled around the tire and wheel well, ripped to shreds. Solution: Yanked off the shroud and tossed what was left in the trunk. Lesson Learned: Never diagnose a strange noise while listening to Rammstein.