in flight

2001.07.08 17.50

I'm on a plane again returning to Philly. As usual, I've reduced the font size on my screen to near microscopic levels so nobody can see what I'm typing. It's not that I am saying anything bad about anybody, but I am sure there are looky loos behind me curious to see what Mr. Nice Laptop Computer Man is typing. I am flying AirTran airways. They suck. There was a layover in Atlanta that I just got out of and, as usual, there were delays there. They never have a problem getting me to Atlanta, just letting me leave. It's like some kind of forced tourism. I don't like it there. I have a friend who lives around there named Richard Noble. I haven't been able to get in touch with him for a few years, now. Richard, are you reading this? Send me an email, home boy.

Decided that I'm going to take my lifelong friend Dawn to the Madonna concert. I have known Dawn since she was in second grade, or thereabouts. I was in fourth grade, so don't get any ideas about knocking me for dating younger women. We've never dated. If you look up platonic relationships, there is a picture of us there. We went to Europe together and had a pretty good time. I was more immature and obnoxious back then. Okay, so I'm more mature now. I am able to control the obnoxious behavior through the combined use of yoga and coffee.

I have had a lot happen since my last update nearly two weeks ago. Lost a contact lens in my sink while I was getting ready one morning. That sucked, but not as much as AirTran Airlines suck. I prefer Continental. Where was I? Oh, right. I was blind in one eye. The problem is I can drive with only one contact, but there is no room for error. If something bad happens to that eye then I'm screwed... even more screwed than AirTran Airways. So, I went to Montgomeryville Mall and visited LensCrafters. The doctor there was a hottie. I couldn't complain. The girl who got my glasses prescription filled out was a hottie. I picked out a pair of glasses with smaller than normal frames that had the label ''Gun Metal'' on them. I like them. They are pretty. I have not worn any contact at all for nearly a week now. This is bad because my eyes change shape (and prescription) after I stop wearing them for a prolonged time. However, LensCrafters tell me they will redo my glasses to adjust for the difference, as well as adjusting the pair of contacts I bought to replace the old pair. I have gotten so used to wearing the glasses that I am almost sad to have to go back to the contacts. That won't happen. I stopped wearing glasses in 8th grade, not about to fall back. My friend Hamish from work (the aforementioned Other Super Genius) has suggested getting laser surgery and permanently fixing my vision. My vision is pretty bad. Something like -6 and -10 (whatever that means) in my left and right eyes respectively. Without glasses or contacts, I have to hold things about 4 inches away from my eyes to read them. Real nice gift, eh? I'd prefer being allergic to kryptonite instead.

The weather in Philly is always real nice. 75 to 80 degrees or so with very little humidity. The drivers aren't too bad. I can hear Howard Stern live in the mornings. There are these guys named Opie and Anthony that I listen to on my drive home. I am back at the Ft. Washington Best Western. The place still looks like hell even though the flood happened something like three weeks ago. I would update a picture of it if I had my camera. Loaned it to my roommate who went to New York. I found an even better newer and more kick ass version of my camera at Best Buy this past weekend. I hate how they always come up with cooler and better stuff every 6 months. This camera uses sonar and infrared to focus, and has a retractible lens for wider angle shots. It's purty, too. But at $699 a pop that is pretty heavy duty. Remodeling the house is also proving expensive. The bathroom is running approximately $1500. The kitchen is going to kick my ass. I am almost thinking I should hold off while I catch my indebted breath. I had a laundry list of items to take care of that my roommate left. I didn't do most of them. I'm a bad roommate. I should be spanked. I'll keep my fingers crossed, eh? (Riiiight).

May I rant for a moment about stupid people? I have a problem with them. First of all, there are a lot of them. Secondly, they tend to find each other and breed, very often out of wedlock. They also tend to have stupid kids. Granted, there are exceptions, but some people are so stupid that I think they ought to get their reproductive rights suspended. There was this girl I had on my webcam portals section a while back. She had her own blog and was always ready to complain about people who would write her and ask if she would show off her body for the camera. She was a real cutie and I couldn't blame them. Her responses to compliments and/or begging for better viewers of her hottie body were always a variation on the ''I'm not like that! I'm innocent! I'm saving it! Stop staring at my boobs!'' theme. She had this older looking boyfriend who also had his own site. My Super Genius research revealed he was about 5 years older than her. Let's just say she was most definitely a minor in Texas and he wasn't. While pretending to be an extremely conversative person in her blog, it eventually turned out that she was boinking this older guy and got pregnant. I didn't realize this had happened, however, until just a few weeks ago. Ya see, months and months ago she suddenly stopped updating her webcam and took her site down with no explanation. I didn't really give it much pause because I figured she was just another flakey presence on the internet... until her idiot boyfriend suddenly posted a message on his site that said he'd been busy and to check out the pictures of his new son. Curious, I clicked on the link and, sure enough, there was the M.I.A. webcam girl looking quite chubby holding up their newborn baby. Stupid people suck. Condoms. They are EVERYWHERE. I know some people may disagree with me here, but I'm telling you, stupid people suck. Although, not as much as AirTran. Could we find a way to round up the stupid people and send them to Gilligan's Island or something?

Got a haircut while watching ''Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Clooney is amazing in it. The Coen Brothers should be cryogenically frozen at their deaths, they are just so good. I can't wait to see it again. I didn't get to finish the whole thing, but I will. If you have the means, I highly recommend it. Another film I saw a couple of weeks ago was A.I. I loved it. You will either love it or hate it ... or both. There are so many scenes that are both awesome looking and disturbing at the same time that I couldn't do anything after I left the theater but ponder what I'd seen. The movie is definitely not for little kids. There is an abandonment scene that totally wrenches your heart. The movie succeeds where I never knew a movie could succeed. Verbalizing it is difficult. It definitely had my interest 100% of the time. And Teddy, the Super Toy teddy bear, has a low and lumbering voice that is both eerie and assuring. I want one! They are coming out with one, actually. I hope he can run and perhaps walk my dog every day. That's definitely what we should do if we discover how to program sentient machines, or mechas as they are called in the film. We should make the car sentient. That way people won't be able to do some of the more stupid things they pull while in a hurry. They could even drive themselves, although I am not sure how they will feel if you should junk the car. This would go perfectly with the a KnightRider theme. Maybe all cars should sound like KIT. That would be cool. Excuse me while I giggle like a school girl.

I am presenting some of my prototypes to a steering committee tomorrow that is going to decide the next steps for this multimillion dollar project. No sweat, right? My prototypes' love is real, but they are not.