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Mark Shields
Super Genius
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back and forth

2001.09.21 16.00

Spiderman... Spiderman... Does whatever a spider can... I'm leaving Philly again tonight at 7 PM for another exciting AirTran Airlines flight back to Houston. Unlike myself, I have lots of friends who have been going out of their way not to fly. Will this result in an increase in auto traffic? An increase in traffic fatalaties? An increase in the price of gas? As long as it doesn't result in a decrease in the number of flights willing to ferry me back and forth, I don't care. I don't like driving. I especially don't like divided lane highways. I want a nice big grass partition or a solid concrete barrier separating myself and opposing traffic when I do have to drive. Speeding past other cars while we are doing a combined speed of 150 miles an hour is a blind trust. Will the other guy slip into my lane at the last second? He'd better not, else I'm gonna kick his ass. When is the damn transporter beam going to be invented? Hurry up, science guys. Geez.

Lost my rental car key this morning before I left the hotel. Turns out it was inside the pocket inside my pocket. Why is there a pocket inside of my pants pocket? Is that the special pocket? I can't fit anything to special in there. Condoms? Nope. Money? Nope. Rental car keys. Yup. I do have something that I consider special that I'd like to keep in there. I have an old 1901 Indian Head penny I keep in my drawer at home. It has history. I sometimes wonder where the penny has been for the last 100 years. It would be way cool to have that ''know everything about an object'' power that Jeff Goldblum's character had in the 80's movie Vibe. That power is also a lot like the power Bruce Willis has in the movie Unbreakable. Come to think of it, Superman had that power at the end of Superman: The Movie. How else would he have known Lois Lane's ugly red car had fallen into a big hole in the ground and killed her? That's a very strange scene. He's standing there looking at the mess he's made by blocking the river, and then all of a sudden he has this ''Oh Sh*t!'' look on his face, as if he forgot to turn off the oven or something. Heh. Movies are cool. I want to make them.

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