cruising for chicks at the airport

2001.09.28 15.56

I had a run-in with allergy on Thursday. The Palace of Asia restaurant is the source for room service at my hotel. For some reason they are never consistent with the condiments even though I always order the caesar salad with jalapeno poppers. Some days I get BBQ sauce. Some days I get ketchup. Some days I get mystery green and red Indian dipping sauces that my scientists have not yet identified. Lazy bastards, always playing basketball. Anyway, this past Wednesday night I got Ranch Dressing. After one dip I knew something was wrong. One dunk was all it took. My face started puffing pretty much right away, but I thought it was because of the big goofy smile I had on my face while I watched the new Star Trek show.

Again, kudos to TheOnion.com for their ferocious attacks on the attackers. It would please me nothing more than to write articles for them. So, in order to brush up on my satirical skills, I'll be writing a satirical article at least once a week (or less, depending on whether or not I write it). I'm also going to change my site's layout and work on my screen navigation model. I am taking the week of October 15th thru the 19th off in order to take care of massive renovations at my house (as well as massive catch up on all the sleep I've lost during the last 4 months). Tell your friends. Expect new pages on The Batmobile replica and my Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine replica to show up soon. Also, keep an eye out for my nude pictoral of Britney Spears (that is, if I am somehow able to get the negatives into this world from the dream world). Dang dream world! You wouldn't believe how many state lotteries I've won while over there, only to always be told at the last minute that the banking system couldn't transfer my funds without a note from Santa Claus. Bleah. As soon as I find Santa Claus... party at my house!