dreaming of cortisone
2002.07.21 21.15
My arm now officially aches. I'm seeing something cloudy in some of the blisters today so right now I'm thinking things are going south on me. Gotta call up those Cigna bastards and squeeze them for info about getting a doctor here in Philly. Oh, have I mentioned that Cigna has been *stupid* enough to keep accepting claims supposedly made by me from some doctor's office in Atlanta? Apparently that office has a patient with a social security number that's one digit different from mine, but the buttmeisters over there keep getting the number wrong. It's happened three freakin' times. If it happens a fourth time I'm gonna call up that office and demand free ice cream and all of their waiting room magazines. Cheeky bastards! My poison ivy covered left arm is aching double time just thinking about this.
I'm not just being funny about the arm hurting. It looks terrible to boot. I have been hiding my arm when in public and using my right arm whenever possible. I know I shouldn't feel like I'm a freak of nature, but I happen to look the part. Here is a short list of alternate afflictions that I've considered using as reasons why I look like this:
- Starbucks Coffee exploded all over me in a tragic Breakfast Blend mishap.
- Rash is punishment for being so good looking and smart as a whip.
- Had terrible accident with arm eating rats on the set of Fear Factor last week.
- Inadvertantly making MTV Jackass audition tape using matches, congac, my left arm and my crepes suzette recipe.
- Experienced an aiming problem when trying out my heat vision super powers.
