system to the shock

2004.03.08 22.57

My mom called me today and left a voicemail saying she wanted to move to a new house because there were little bugs in the air. Sounds to me like something died somewhere. I tried calling her back, but when I hit SEND I heard this:

''Thank you for using American Roaming Network. Charges will be $2.99 per call, $1.99 per minute. Please enter the number you wish to call, area code first on your keypad'' [beat] ''Your call cannot be completed. Thank you for using American Roaming Network.''

WTF? Confused? I was. I tried getting back into my voicemail. Same problem. I cycled the power on my phone. This has the effect of disconnecting and reconnecting with the network. I tried voicemail again. I got this:

Your account could not be validated. If you are a Sprint PCS customer, you can reach customer care by hanging up and dialing *2.

I tried *2. They didn't want to tell me anything other than my account was ''closed out on 3/8.'' I'm like, ''Isn't today 3/8?'' They were all, ''Yes, yes it is.'' So I was all, ''Why don't you just say it was closed out today instead of saying it was closed out on 3/8?'' They told me they were just reading what was on the screen. I asked them to read the part of the screen that told them why the account was closed out. They didn't want to read that part. I was like, ''Oh come on, what do I have to do?'' They told me I had to call my representative at the Houston office and they'd read that part of the screen to her. I told them I couldn't call my representative because my phone wasn't working. They apologized and said it wasn't their fault and that they were sorry. I asked them if they were sorry about the giant pothole I hit back in December. They said they had nothing to do with that. Nevertheless, I still have my suspicions. I asked them if I was being punished because my ratio of calls to my mom and dad was out of balance with calls to my client. Sprint still wasn't ready to impart The Truth™ about why my account closed, although they did say that having a close relationship with the folks was a good thing and nothing to be ashamed of. So, now I'm sitting here staring at my useless phone. I'm wondering if my mom's gonna be mad at me for not calling her back. I was gonna tell her how to find that bug spawning dead body. Oh well. I miss my phone.

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed here are my own only and in no way represent the views, positions or opinions - expressed or implied - of my employers both past and present. « absorbing the video \| Main \| return of the phone » system to the shock 2004.03.08 22.57 My mom called me today and left a voicemail saying she wanted to move to a new house because there were little bugs in the air. Sounds to me like something died somewhere. I tried calling her back, but when I hit SEND I heard this: ''Thank you for using American Roaming Network. Charges will be $2.99 per call, $1.99 per minute. Please enter the number you wish to call, area code first on your keypad'' [beat] ''Your call cannot be completed. Thank you for using American Roaming Network.'' WTF? Confused? I was. I tried getting back into my voicemail. Same problem. I cycled the power on my phone. This has the effect of disconnecting and reconnecting with the network. I tried voicemail again. I got this: Your account could not be validated. If you are a Sprint PCS customer, you can reach customer care by hanging up and dialing 2. I tried 2. They didn't want to tell me anything other than my account was ''closed out on 3/8.'' I'm like, ''Isn't today 3/8?'' They were all, ''Yes, yes it is.'' So I was all, ''Why don't you just say it was closed out today instead of saying it was closed out on 3/8?'' They told me they were just reading what was on the screen. I asked them to read the part of the screen that told them why the account was closed out. They didn't want to read that part. I was like, ''Oh come on, what do I have to do?'' They told me I had to call my representative at the Houston office and they'd read that part of the screen to her. I told them I couldn't call my representative because my phone wasn't working. They apologized and said it wasn't their fault and that they were sorry. I asked them if they were sorry about the giant pothole I hit back in December. They said they had nothing to do with that. Nevertheless, I still have my suspicions. I asked them if I was being punished because my ratio of calls to my mom and dad was out of balance with calls to my client. Sprint still wasn't ready to impart The Truth™ about why my account closed, although they did say that having a close relationship with the folks was a good thing and nothing to be ashamed of. So, now I'm sitting here staring at my useless phone. I'm wondering if my mom's gonna be mad at me for not calling her back. I was gonna tell her how to find that bug spawning dead body. Oh well. I miss my phone. « absorbing the video \| Main \| return of the phone »