back to the houston

2003.11.07 12.14

Returning to Houston tonight. Been 5 weeks since I was last there -- a new record exceeded only by my 6-week European Vacation with Dawn in 1992. The dryer died. I have an extra dryer and two extra washing machines in the storage room. I've been hoarding them. My ''roommate'' Daniel informs me that two chairs left by my former ''roommate'' Paul are super ugly and must go. I agree. Considering holding a Passive Garage Sale. That's where I put them out on the drive way with a sign on each chair that says, ''Chair $20 -- Ring Doorbell To Purchase.'' If somone walks off with them, I won't care. If someone pays me $20 each for them, I won't care. If someone haggles with me, I imagine the conversation going something like this: ''I'm sorry, but these chairs were purchased by my ex-girlfriend Paris Hilton. They are very dear to me. I couldn't let them go for any less.'' I would then start to cry like a baby until the person either A) walks away frightened or B) hands me two crisp $20 bills, pats me on the shoulder and says, ''I'm so sorry'' and carts the ugly ass chairs away. I'm hoping for A) to happen, myself.

Saw ''8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter'' on Tuesday. Disappointing, although not entirely as awkward as The New Chico episode on ''Chico and the Man.'' Not completely weird like when Valerie Harper's character was ''killed'' and her show was renamed ''The Hogans.'' Valerie Harper, by the way, not really dead. Phil Hartman's death in ''News Radio'' I heard was handled a bit strangely. Even Katie Sagal, the costar of ''8 Simple Rules'' had a similar problem on ''Married With Children'' when she was pregnant in real-life and they wrote that into the show until she had a miscarriage, which of course is terrible, but then they had to figure out how to write that plot point out. They were brilliant of course, making it all out to have been a bad dream for Al Bundy. So, the ''8 Simple Rules'' show still had high ratings sans Ritter. I think they need to rename the show to make it complete. ''8 Simple Rules'' implies the father's rules. My suggestions? Keep James Garner or Susanne Pleshette and rename it to ''8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Grand-Daughter.'' Hire Howard Stern as a recurring character and rename it ''8 Simple Rules For Dating Teenage Daughters.'' Oh! What if they hire Suzanne Summers and Joyce Dewitt and have them move into the basement? They could call it ''Eight's Company.'' Or hire Dick Van Patton and call it ''Eight Simple Rules Are Enough.'' Hey, man, come on. They can't all be winners.

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed here are my own only and in no way represent the views, positions or opinions - expressed or implied - of my employers both past and present. « wake me up inside \| Main \| 46 hours in h-town » back to the houston 2003.11.07 12.14 Returning to Houston tonight. Been 5 weeks since I was last there -- a new record exceeded only by my 6-week European Vacation with Dawn in 1992. The dryer died. I have an extra dryer and two extra washing machines in the storage room. I've been hoarding them. My ''roommate'' Daniel informs me that two chairs left by my former ''roommate'' Paul are super ugly and must go. I agree. Considering holding a Passive Garage Sale. That's where I put them out on the drive way with a sign on each chair that says, ''Chair $20 -- Ring Doorbell To Purchase.'' If somone walks off with them, I won't care. If someone pays me $20 each for them, I won't care. If someone haggles with me, I imagine the conversation going something like this: ''I'm sorry, but these chairs were purchased by my ex-girlfriend Paris Hilton. They are very dear to me. I couldn't let them go for any less.'' I would then start to cry like a baby until the person either A) walks away frightened or B) hands me two crisp $20 bills, pats me on the shoulder and says, ''I'm so sorry'' and carts the ugly ass chairs away. I'm hoping for A) to happen, myself. Saw ''8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter'' on Tuesday. Disappointing, although not entirely as awkward as The New Chico episode on ''Chico and the Man.'' Not completely weird like when Valerie Harper's character was ''killed'' and her show was renamed ''The Hogans.'' Valerie Harper, by the way, not really dead. Phil Hartman's death in ''News Radio'' I heard was handled a bit strangely. Even Katie Sagal, the costar of ''8 Simple Rules'' had a similar problem on ''Married With Children'' when she was pregnant in real-life and they wrote that into the show until she had a miscarriage, which of course is terrible, but then they had to figure out how to write that plot point out. They were brilliant of course, making it all out to have been a bad dream for Al Bundy. So, the ''8 Simple Rules'' show still had high ratings sans Ritter. I think they need to rename the show to make it complete. ''8 Simple Rules'' implies the father's rules. My suggestions? Keep James Garner or Susanne Pleshette and rename it to ''8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Grand-Daughter.'' Hire Howard Stern as a recurring character and rename it ''8 Simple Rules For Dating Teenage Daughters.'' Oh! What if they hire Suzanne Summers and Joyce Dewitt and have them move into the basement? They could call it ''Eight's Company.'' Or hire Dick Van Patton and call it ''Eight Simple Rules Are Enough.'' Hey, man, come on. They can't all be winners. « wake me up inside \| Main \| 46 hours in h-town »