hemming and hawing

2003.04.06 1.15

I am in Houston today. This morning I visited an American Express financial advisor and got a spiel on how they could give me an investment plan for only $600. The upside is that this is at least advice from experts and not just friends who think they have a good tip. The downside is that they don't do the work for you. This is just recommendations. Hmmmph. I forgot the coupon for 10k worth of frequent flyer miles in exchange for my listening to aforementioned spiel, so I have to somehow make a return visit to get that taken care of.

I then drove to Gillman Mitsubish dealer where I bought my Eclipse in 1998 to have them check out why my ''Service Engine Soon'' light was on. They got a lot of weird computer messages and wanted to keep the car. This meant I'll have to leave it with them for two weeks until I can come back on April 19th. Bleah. I left the car and they dropped me off at... The Batcave.

I drove the Batmobile home and wondered what I could do realistically while driving this obnoxiously attention drawing alternate car. I didn't even bother with the DeLorean. I think it needs gas, actually. I ran some errands and parked aforementioned Dark Knight Corvette in the back of the lot out of the way. I did some paperwork at home. I then decided that I was going to go ahead with my original plan for the evening -- seeing Kelly Osbourne perform at Numbers Night Club.

I drove my car into the usual parking lot that sits behind where La Strada used to exist before it was burned to the ground. A lot has changed since I've been gone 23 months. I tipped the car guys a $20 and got in line to buy a $15 ticket. No extra crappy ticketmaster charges this way. While standing outside in the line I talked to these street kids with Mudvayne style make-up on. Alicia Warrington, the drummer for Kelly's band, walked up and started asking them if they had a problem with the Osbournes. They started to say something but were more curious why she was filming them with her digital camera. Being an Osbournes series junky I recognized her and asked if ''Fired Sarah'' was around. Sarah *was* Kelly's drummer until Sharon Osbourne replaced her with the more talent-consistent Alicia. Alicia pointed down the street into the darkness and replied, ''Getting a tattoo.'' She was pointing in the direction of a number of scary Westheimer tattoo parlors. Okay, to be honest, a few are nice. One of them has a blue Corvette chopped in half and turned into a sofa. I'll have to get a picture of that the next time I get my secret Batman logo tattoo colored in.

The opening act was some overweight guy who basically had no band to back him up and covered a lot of songs. Glorified karaoki. It was excrutiating to watch because he kept removing more and more clothing, much to my horror. When he got down to his briefs I then realized that the numbing effect of beer wasn't going to be enough to undo the damage. Bastard. Once that torture was all over with it was quickly on to Kelly. She now has dyed blonde hair and it looks to be about the length that her ''real'' hair should be. I think she had some extensions for a few episodes of ''The Osbournes'' this season, but who knows how long ago all that was filmed.

The performance, by the way, was very well done. The first few songs i think they had the gain on her microphone too far down, so the words were a bit hard to understand. Everyone joined in on ''Shut Up.'' She did a cover of the Corey Heart 80's classic ''Sunglasses At Night'' that sounded great. She performed about a dozen songs total and closed with ''Pappa Don't Preach.'' I'd bought a CD that also got me a moment with Kelly, plus a signature. They herded us into a cluster outside the staircase to the bar upstairs. Once I got up there it was Kelly all by her lonesome. I got her to sign ''To Mark, xoxo, Kelly Osbourne.'' I hadn't asked for the xoxo, but I made sure I told her that I appreciated the xoxo. Nothing like a little xoxo to get your day going. I piled out of there and drove the Corvette home with minimal gawking and people honking and saying unique things like, ''HEYYYYYY BAT! MAN!!!!''

It will be daylight savings in a few hours. Not looking forward to giving up that hour again. Will the madness ever end? Whatever. I gotz pizza in the fridge. Buhbye. Kelly Osbourne

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed here are my own only and in no way represent the views, positions or opinions - expressed or implied - of my employers both past and present. « godsmack \| Main \| b.z. » hemming and hawing 2003.04.06 1.15 I am in Houston today. This morning I visited an American Express financial advisor and got a spiel on how they could give me an investment plan for only $600. The upside is that this is at least advice from experts and not just friends who think they have a good tip. The downside is that they don't do the work for you. This is just recommendations. Hmmmph. I forgot the coupon for 10k worth of frequent flyer miles in exchange for my listening to aforementioned spiel, so I have to somehow make a return visit to get that taken care of. I then drove to Gillman Mitsubish dealer where I bought my Eclipse in 1998 to have them check out why my ''Service Engine Soon'' light was on. They got a lot of weird computer messages and wanted to keep the car. This meant I'll have to leave it with them for two weeks until I can come back on April 19th. Bleah. I left the car and they dropped me off at... The Batcave. I drove the Batmobile home and wondered what I could do realistically while driving this obnoxiously attention drawing alternate car. I didn't even bother with the DeLorean. I think it needs gas, actually. I ran some errands and parked aforementioned Dark Knight Corvette in the back of the lot out of the way. I did some paperwork at home. I then decided that I was going to go ahead with my original plan for the evening -- seeing Kelly Osbourne perform at Numbers Night Club. I drove my car into the usual parking lot that sits behind where La Strada used to exist before it was burned to the ground. A lot has changed since I've been gone 23 months. I tipped the car guys a $20 and got in line to buy a $15 ticket. No extra crappy ticketmaster charges this way. While standing outside in the line I talked to these street kids with Mudvayne style make-up on. Alicia Warrington, the drummer for Kelly's band, walked up and started asking them if they had a problem with the Osbournes. They started to say something but were more curious why she was filming them with her digital camera. Being an Osbournes series junky I recognized her and asked if ''Fired Sarah'' was around. Sarah was Kelly's drummer until Sharon Osbourne replaced her with the more talent-consistent Alicia. Alicia pointed down the street into the darkness and replied, ''Getting a tattoo.'' She was pointing in the direction of a number of scary Westheimer tattoo parlors. Okay, to be honest, a few are nice. One of them has a blue Corvette chopped in half and turned into a sofa. I'll have to get a picture of that the next time I get my secret Batman logo tattoo colored in. The opening act was some overweight guy who basically had no band to back him up and covered a lot of songs. Glorified karaoki. It was excrutiating to watch because he kept removing more and more clothing, much to my horror. When he got down to his briefs I then realized that the numbing effect of beer wasn't going to be enough to undo the damage. Bastard. Once that torture was all over with it was quickly on to Kelly. She now has dyed blonde hair and it looks to be about the length that her ''real'' hair should be. I think she had some extensions for a few episodes of ''The Osbournes'' this season, but who knows how long ago all that was filmed. The performance, by the way, was very well done. The first few songs i think they had the gain on her microphone too far down, so the words were a bit hard to understand. Everyone joined in on ''Shut Up.'' She did a cover of the Corey Heart 80's classic ''Sunglasses At Night'' that sounded great. She performed about a dozen songs total and closed with ''Pappa Don't Preach.'' I'd bought a CD that also got me a moment with Kelly, plus a signature. They herded us into a cluster outside the staircase to the bar upstairs. Once I got up there it was Kelly all by her lonesome. I got her to sign ''To Mark, xoxo, Kelly Osbourne.'' I hadn't asked for the xoxo, but I made sure I told her that I appreciated the xoxo. Nothing like a little xoxo to get your day going. I piled out of there and drove the Corvette home with minimal gawking and people honking and saying unique things like, ''HEYYYYYY BAT! MAN!!!!'' It will be daylight savings in a few hours. Not looking forward to giving up that hour again. Will the madness ever end? Whatever. I gotz pizza in the fridge. Buhbye. « godsmack \| Main \| b.z. »