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Mark Shields
Super Genius
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talking smack

2001.06.25 21.33

I am sitting next to The Smacker. Every 3 seconds he f***ing makes a smacking sound and it is driving me up the wall. I am contemplating murder. I don't think he realizes how annoying this is. Even though he is only inches away from me and could most likely see what I am typing, I have adjusted the font size on NotePad to use a really tiny little size. I am pretty confident I can bitch about the torturous smacking that continues unabated. This guy is evil. He apparently missed his 3 PM flight and I was lucky enough to have had an empty seat next to me so I could enjoy his frenzy of lip smacking. The garbage service is coming by. He's not hesitating to get rid of his trash before I do -- all the better so he can smack out loud more and more. I think he might be eating some kind of hard candy. I am contemplating asking him what he's eating. Maybe if we are both smacking then the sound will get canceled out. Somehow I seriously doubt that. I wonder if anyone would notice if I were to slam this laptop into his head and render him unconscious.

I am really sleepy. I woke up at 4 AM today (Monday) and did about 4 hours of work. I then went about my errands in Houston and went out to lunch with My People from the office. I'll need to write them about this smacking sound I still hear every couple of seconds. They don't know what they are missing. Where was I? Oh. Errands. I cleaned up all the junk that was in my bedroom so it is now the best looking room in the house. The study has the last example of my loose and unhampered pack rat habits. I'll take care of that when I return again this weekend. I am thinking about having a bonfire in the front yard. Maybe I'll make it fall on top of my while I'm building it in homage to the Texas Aggies. I dated a girl once who was an aggie. Wendy was her name. She was totally adorable. She had interesting views on the role of The Man in a relationship and The Woman. I don't get why I didn't just marry her. Hmmm. Oh. That's right. Now I remember. Her boyfriend didn't like me. He would have definitely gotten in the way of our pending nuptuals. Don't think badly of her, I was in the middle of another relationship then, too. My only experience with cheating regardless of what my evil ''most recent girlfriend'' tells anyone, the witch. Must update ex-files page to accurately reflect her grossity and wickedness.

I don't know if I've specifically mentioned it or not, but Oktober is poised to be my next roommate sometime in the middle of the summer. She has made her presence felt by painting all of the walls in many parts of the house and dispatching every object, aside from the tub, out of the hallway bathroom. We went shopping at Expo and basically redesigned the entire thing within a few hours. On paper, anyway. They are ordering a black basin for me and will ship all the goodies to my house when they're done. My goal after Project Bathroom is to take care of the house exterior and finish the kitchen off by getting IKEA to come down on its ass. I don't want ot recognize a thing in there. I would prefer it if little minions did the hard work for me, but right now there is definite satisfaction in ripping stuff out. Throwing it away is a pain in the ass, however, but I digress. I'm going to drag everything out on Friday night when I return.

Let me tell you a little bit about working on the East Coast and living on the Gulf Coast. First of all, never assume a plane is going to get you from point A to point B without some degree of difficulty. Apparently storms and general bad weather happen in between these two points on the earth. Have you ever noticed that the Universal Studios logo is the earth experiencing what is probably the best weather conditions ever possible? There isn't one cloud on that thing. Impossible! Is their logo some kind of nod to perfection? As if to say, ''Yeah, this is what the earth would look like if it were a sunny day everywhere'' but I think it would also mean that there would be no condensation in the air thus melting the polar icecaps and destroying civilization as we know it. So, what is Universal trying to say? I'd better shut up before I go too far. I want to work for them one day.

Noticing I am bitching more in the blog as opposed to being funny. WIll try to make amends by reviewing some of the things I've seen in the last few weeks. The South Park episode I referred to in my previous entry was fantastic. Written only two weeks ago, they quickly animated it and had it ready a couple of days before showtime. Matt Stone and Trey Parker are geniuses. I'd talk a little bit more about their ability to see beyond the obvious, but the smacker guy next to me has started up on another round of lip smacking loudness. There is also some fun turbulence going on which makes me wanna put up the machine.

After I put up the machine I'm going to continue reading S.M. Stirling's ''Infiltrator'' novel. It is based on the characters and plotline from the two Terminator movies. I suspect this book might be what they are going to base the upcoming Terminator 3 plotline on, but it's hard to tell. I am occasionally bored, amused, intrigued, bored again, annoyed by smacking sounds, and entertained. Right now it makes a better book story than it would a movie story. I have never heard of Stirling before (I wonder if he is related to another Super Genius that works for my employer with the same last name). We'll see. I met a cute girl on my flight to Houston last Friday night who was reading ''Along Came a Spider.'' I made her laugh quite a bit and I'm pretty sure I made an impact. Unfortunately she was ''with boyfriend'' and unattainable. Stacy Miller was her name, I believe. I figure that is such a common name that ten or twenty Stacy Millers are going to write me wondering if I'm talking about them. If you're not the pretty hazel eyed furniture rep that had to go to Dallas to shmooze clients, then no, you're not her. If you are her and you've dumped your boyfriend then we should talk. If you aren't either one, but if you'd like to talk anyway, then go ahead and hit me with your best email at . I will have a pretty kitchen one day thanks to my slave labor roommate (who I appreciate whole heartedly, of course) and I'll be able to make you a nice omelet or pancake one day. Now, if she would only build me a patio and hot tub. Hmmm.

phil lee

2001.06.20 20.36

Switched to Best Western Montgomeryville. Every kind of department and food store in existance is within walking distance from here. My commercialism drought is over. The hotel is very 60's kitsch. It smells like hotels in my distance memory have always smelled. They must have some kind of secret air freshener that you can only get from hotel air freshener vendors. The place I was staying at in Fort Washington was apparently out of that stuff. Maybe it got lost in the flooded basement.

Waiting for new ''South Park'' episode to come on. Promos say that the characters are gonna say sh*t on television without getting bleeped. I don't get it. They say sh*t on 60 Minutes and 60 Minutes II whenever they feel like it. They were quoting the book some guy wrote that Timothy McVeigh had read and one of the lines had the word sh*t in it. Big deal. I've had cable since 1980. I was introduced to dirty television by The Movie Channel where I saw ''Motel Hell'' and ''Swamp Thing'' in rotating cycles, interupted by repeated viewings of ''Coal Miner's Daughter.''

Had a dream last night that a character from Star Trek: Voyager (Captain Janeway) was the cleaning lady at the hotel and wouldn't stop knocking on the door. She wanted to clean the room. I kept telling her to give me half an hour but she was adament. Had to call the front desk to scare her off. Weird. Woke up in a sweat. Need to stop falling asleep with the TV on.

Wondering how much mail has piled up now that I've been out of town for two weeks. Two more days and I'm back in H-town. I've notified Joe Isuzu. He's going to have an Isuzu Trooper waiting for me at the terminal. The last thing I did before leaving my car at the terminal parking lot was bumping the rear bumper into the wall. Not too hard, but still, I hate that. Even though my car is 1200 miles away, I'm worried about that scratch. And I miss my dog. I've been hitting the pet stores here to tide me over. Hope he doesn't forget me. Maybe I'll have a lifesize cutout poster made and placed in the kitchen so he'll see it every day. Must talk to the roommate about that. Potential to scare of burglars is high.

recess

2001.06.17 10.48

The water went down. There was apparently a false wall in the lobby that collapsed due to the pressure from the rising water behind it. The basement is full of water. The Fort Washington exit from the PA Turnpike is closed. I'm landlocked again. Looking to eat some lunch someplace here in Ambler/Fort Washington. I made a page with photos I took mostly this morning although I did snap a few from last night. Bored.

the floods 2

2001.06.16 23.25

I am sitting upstairs in my hotel room after having a very eventful evening. The week has been great and work has been proceeding smoothly. I've been visiting a new mall every day so far. One Tuesday I hit Nashimima Mall. On Wednesday it was onward to King of Prussia Mall. On Thursday I hit the Plymouth Meeting Mall along with the Metroplex shops. Friday I chose to bypass malls and instead drove 50 miles or so to a place called Zadar's. It purportly had 80's and industrial music, and it was right across the river from Jersey. They have a picture of a packed dance floor on their site. I went there. It sucked. I sat in a corner most of the evening and watched a sad little sparse crowd walk around. I kept myself entertained by watching the last game of the Lakers vs. Sixers series. Unfortunately Philadelphia lost and that was the end of it. I was enjoying the fact that I could go to a gas station and quake in fear everytime someone unexpectedly screamed 'GO SIXERS!' for no reason. I drove home to the hotel and conked out. Oh, I forgot to mention that on Friday I discovered their was a LAN connection in the room. I drove back to the office and grabbed a spare cable. It is definitely coming from a DSL connection and there is some serious firewall software preventing me from doing anything worthwhile. FTP, VPN, all of that is useless. But I can surf really fast. Or at least, I could surf...

I drove back to Nashishima Mall today (Saturday) to see ''Tomb Raider'' and also to go girl watching. Lots of pretty girls in this area and I'm not having any kind of pretty girl withdrawal anytime soon. It was raining really hard when I drove to the mall and arrived at 1 PM. I bought tickets to the 2 PM show. It was a pretty good movie and I'd give it a rating of 7.5. Angelena Jolie gets a 10, however. She's purty. When I left the mall, I'd also purchased a ''Steel'' superhero action figure for $2.50 from Kaybee and an $11 map from Waldenbooks (so I won't get as lost as I usually do). The drive back home featured another pounding of heavy rain. This was very oddly familiar. It was only last weekend when I had to drive through similarly wicked rainfall and everyone knows what that led to. I arrived at the hotel and there was a 1/4 inch puddle of water I had to walk over to get into the hotel. And I thought that was bad. It was 4 PM and it never stopped raining. At around 8 PM I heard someone knocking on doors asking people to move their cars. I put on some decent ''going outside in public'' clothes and walked to the window by the elevator. The truck I'm driving had water half-way up the wheels. I went to the lobby, pulled off my shoes, waded to the truck in foot and a half water, started it up and drove to a parking lot behind the hotel that was obviously higher up. I can see this lot from my room and it is on an obviously higher elevation than the hotel. At 9 PM the lobby was filled with 1/4 of an inch of water. By 10 PM they had sandbagged the front door of the lobby with two feet of bags. Water had risen to where you could see it on the other side of the windows. This didn't look good, so I left for my room. At around 10:15 PM there was a giant crash and water was rushing into the basement at a mad pace. The front wall of the hotel lobby had collapsed inward from the pressure. I figured that would happen. The power was off by now. After a brief outage it came on for a minute. I could see giant sparks and huge flumes of blue and white flame spewing upward in the distance. I figured the power transformers were arcing after getting underwater which is why we had power again. After it went out, it never came back. I am in my room right now, in the dark, lit by the laptop. My cell phone still seems to work as the transmission towers are probably elsewhere and unaffected. The highway outside the window appears dead. Distant lights went out at around 11 PM so we're likely not going to have power here for a while. I am a bit nervous that there are so many candles just lying around and burning unattended. I am also tired of the bitching and paranoia from most of the XX chromosome crowd. I think if I had my own girl that I'd love to spend time lavishing attention on her and making her feel better and offering comfort. I'm not against that. I even came up with a list of attributes that a girl could possible have. Kind of a shopping cart of traits. To those offended by my list, please grow up and understand that this is tongue in cheek. And to all girls reading this who want me to put my tongue in your cheek, please sign the guestbook and form a line to the left.

Wanted:
Girl,
21-30,
Long Hair,
Some College Experience or Degree,
Cute,
Intelligent,
Into Music and Movies,
Valid Driver's License.

Nice To Haves:
Hottie body,
Independent,
Leet,
Multifaceted (not like Sybil),
Sex Maniac.

Fat Chance Nice To Haves:
Fabulously Rich,
Super Model / Movie Star / Scientist / Doctor,
Uses Secret Identity to hide fact she is Wonder Woman.

the cash bar of justice

2001.06.11 23.23

Got back in Houston on Friday night just in time to enjoy the floods. Drove through some high water leaving the airport and a small bit of water in my car. Dried out car. Took car to Wal-Mart and changed the oil. Checked on DeLorean and found that it was perfectly dry. Battery was dead though. No sweat. Did a lot of home cleaning and computer work for most of the weekend. On Sunday I left for the airport and enjoyed almost an uneventful drive. The guy at the gate was a total butt munch, however, as he berated me for not having my bags checked in by arriving earlier. ''I was late because of the floods,'' I explained. Not good enough. He kept up his bitching. I cut him off and said I appreciated the disclaimer but it wasn't necessary. His panties were then officially in a wad and he insisted on telling me what I should have done. Big baby. The ticketing agent chick didn't suggest that I check in my bags when I'd been given my boarding pass only a scant few minutes earlier. So I blame her. Come to think of it, she even said, ''You can take one carry-on bag and check the rest at the gate.'' So I did and I got my butt chewed out my Mr. Holier Than Thou I Must Munch On Your Butt Ticketing Agent Home Boy. This was an AirTran flight, by the way, so you get what you pay for. When I arrived in Philly I found that one of the 3 bags I'd checked didn't show up. Bastard ticketing guy. Wondering if this was his dirty work. Filled out forms for missing bag. The bag contains my shoes and toiletry stuff. This took, like, an hour. Then I got to go to Budget Rent-A-Car who had lost my reservation. After another hour they gave me a nice big Ford Ranger pickup truck for only $22 a day. Now all the people I work with up here will start asking me if I got a gun rack with it. You do know all of us Texans have gun racks, right? I'm considering saying that I only have a convertible and can only fit a handgun rack in my backseat. Then I got on I-95 and drove the wrong direction. For a long time. It was really pretty, but I couldn't understand why all this cool stuff had completely been ignored when I went to the airport on Friday night. So, I turned around and eventually got back to the Best Western at 2:30 AM. Unpacked and conked out. Woke up next morning and improvised by using diluted shampoo as mousse. Later tonight (Monday) I went to a grocery store and stocked back up on toiletry items. Hoping the airline doesn't find my bag so I can get new replacement shoes for my old ones. Is that wrong?

Found out that Timothy McVeigh had been executed courtesy of my Blackberry Wireless device. Not what I'd been expecting, but impactful never the less. Onward.

pretty fly for a white guy

2001.06.08 22.20

08:12 PM CST: Writing on plane flying back to Houston. Waited 30 minutes on runway why 12 planes ahead of us took off. Why'd we even leave the gate? Couldn't the 11th plane have saved our place in line and let us cut in front of the 13th plane?

Listening to loud ass MP3s on my headphones over the neverending rush of the jet engines. In the mood for recent Julian Lennon. He sounds like John, and his stuff is new. It's also a lot like classic Beatles. Not sure why he doesn't catch on. Maybe he needs to get busted on weapons charges and/or date Jennifer Lopez. Whichever, but he's going to have to wait til' I'm done with her. Heh.

First week ended well. We have beautiful comps of what the system is going to look like plus a very lengthy draft of some standards. Was asked what a comp was. It's a graphic representation of a sample layout. I'm still not sure what it really stands for, however. I guess I should learn that.

To do list this weekend includes: wash dirty bassett hound, check DeLorean and maybe attempt to get it inspected no thanks to those bastards from Texaco [spits], some sort of home improvement under the direction of OktoberNight (and the financial backing of The Super Genius), call the lawn mower guy and complain that I can't open the front door anymore due to grass overgrowth, make sure house is still watertight, get estimate on siding replacement, pick up trash on the side of the road for 5 hours, run a marathon, learn to fly a helicopter, bungee jump from the top bunk, and start a nudist colony. I may need to write a novel if I have enough time.

Plane is veering left. Fake zero gravity is nice. Now we're veering right. Wondering if the pilot has passed out from food poisoning and is convulsing left and right.

I guess I will be back in Philly when they kill Timothy McVeigh. Wondering what his last words will be. Do they limit him? If he keeps talking for more than a certain length of time, do they turn up the exit music and go to commercial? I do remember where I was when the bomb went off. I was asleep on the floor in my study. My friend Frankie Paige (obviously not her real name, but nevertheless, the star of my video ''Even More Closer'') was asleep on the blue sectional sofa. Not sure how that happened. Must have been watching the TV the night before. And since we've always had a completely platonic, WIll & Grace like non-sexual friendship, waking up with carpet imprints on my face was no big deal. Took me about 10 minutes to figure out what all of the screaming was about. At first I thought it was a scene from some war or something. But anyway, so they'll kill the bad guy on Monday and we'll go on with life without him. Seriously doubt it will do anything to curb the number of stupid people that exist, but hey, at least there'll be one less. Too bad we couldn't send him to live with my ex-girlfriend as punishment instead.

Listening to Marilyn Manson's ''The Beautiful People'' right now. No one can hear a thing. Beautiful. I learned that Manson recorded a cover of ''Smells Like Teen Spirit'' for the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, only to have it promptly discarded when Courtney Love found out about it. She's hated Manson since they briefly toured together in 1999. The Moulin Rouge people had to quickly record the song again with an unknown band. Wondering if I can find the song on Napster someplace. Finally something to log into Napster for. Getting my mys-spelling abilitees red-dee sew I kan fynd the song. Dam fill terse!

44 days til' Madonna. Still haven't determined the date. There are people in the running out there, however, so don't think the effort to do kind things for me is going unnoticed! Of course, more kind things are good. I'll digress and not list them out. Lechery is involved, however. Hey, isn't lechery the art of making licorice? Hmmm. Have to look that one up.

Want to see the movie Evolution tonight. Wondering if I can track down friends in time. Could have went out with my co-workers from Philly if I'd stayed. FunThey are all married. Is this where you go to get married? Is there a line I have to stand in somewhere or what?

I am going to put up a voting dealio on this page to see if anyone actually reads this. Okay, after thinking about it for 10 seconds, I realize there is no way to vote on whether you don't read this. Must rethink strategy. Perhaps Al Gore isn't busy and can help out. And no, Al, you're still not getting my Madonna tickets, so quit writing me.

9:10 PM CST: Just heard from the captain that the weather in Houston has turned crappy and that we may have to divert to New Orleans. Woo hoo! If we wind up spending the night I am totally going to Bourbon Street! What better way to spend the evening stuck somewhere? May have to rethink my ambitious list of to-do's for tomorrow. Darn. Does this mean I won't be able to pick up trash tomorrow morning? And I was so looking forward to it. Don't you love it when I speak cryptically? The pilot has extra fuel for us to just sit around and circle Oklahoma for an hour or so before we try hitting Texas. Not sure if I should be impressed that we were carrying hundreds of extra gallons of fuel. No wonder these suckers blow up in a fireball when they hit the ground, they're always carrying ''rainy day'' fuel.

Going to try to nap up in case I really do get to hit The Big Easy tonight. If not, no loss, I'll just drive by the Richmond strip with the convertible top down and throw a bag of beads out the window. Same thing.

9:20 PM CST: Okay, the pilot has got balls. He says that he's pretty sure the storm system will move on by the time we get there and that a few planes have made approaches and things seem to be calming down. He then mumbled the rest of his assurances and then went off. Something about what to do if we skid off the edge of the runway or something. Either that or he was convulsing left and right again. Guess I'll be cleaning the earth tomorrow morning after all. Looking outside the window the sky is perfectly clear and you can see all the way to the ground (and we're supposedly at 25,000 feet at least).

Wondering how the Sixers are doing. Not that I think they're going to win the second game against LA, but it wouldn't surprise me if they pulled out another upset. You never know in the play offs. I'm sure NBC has a real hard time rigging the games with those psychics in the stands using telepathy and telekinesis to jack with the basketball trajectory. What? You never knew they do that? Yeah, that's right. They use the same people who make it look like David Copperfield is doing real magic. I've asked them to use their powers to trick girls to walk over to me at clubs, but their hourly rates are hellacious.

Plane is shaking all over the place. If this is the last thing I type (and if the laptop makes it to the ground in one piece, tell my family that I'll miss them (although I'll see what I can do about some friendly haunting and perhaps make a Casper The Friendly ghost type appearance on Friday nights. We'll see. I'd still need to bypass that whole walking into the light thing (again).

9:29 PM CST: Remember the ground? It's missing. Clouds in the way now. News at 11.

10:20 PM CST: I lived. It took forever to get home. Drove through some water. All that was more dangerous than the actual landing. More after I recover.

expansion

2001.06.06 23.50

It was a good day. Got a lot done. Went home to the hotel and caught up on the latest news on my office in houston coping with the economy. Glad I can do my part here to support us.

I left at 7:30 intending to go to the mall. I missed a turn and I wound up lost on the Pennsylvania turnpike. I took the first exit I could find and wandered around in the rustic town I'd found. As I drove over the winding hills I found myself at Miles Park. I'd been invited to play Ultimate Frisbee here by Will, a member of the creative team I'm on. I found my way here totally accidentally, not knowing why I was taking a turn or what was around the corner. The park is enormous. Something like a mile by half mile square of open fields, soccer fields, baseball fields, softball fields, and lots of happy people. I have never been any place like this, even in Louisville. Amazing. The lack of humidy totally sells me. Even golf courses aren't this good. The earth kicks ass.

Okay, now I'm back. I spent the next two hours semi-lost as I drove aimlessly. Not a bad tour. Saw some scary parts of town (especially down North Broad Street) but nothing where I feared for my life. Cops followed me, like, 4 times. There were a couple of instances where it looked like some woman was jussssst about to cross the street... only she never does. A good rule of thumb is that if you see some dude about 50 feet away staring blankly at the side of a building for no reason, you've found your way into pimp/ho territory.

I have been listening to a couple of MP3s for the last few days that feature some extensive piano playing. I plan to learn how to play these as soon as I get home. ''Are Friends Electric'' when they're Down in the Park?

happy birthday wahlberg

2001.06.05 23.44

Today is Mark Wahlberg's birthday. There was a party a few nights ago in France and Matt Damon was nice enough to stop by and wish him well. Isn't that great? Matt is supposed to pick up my mail and take out my trash once a week, but has he done it? Nooooo.

I am both bored and extremely busy. I have a lot of things to do but within a small deadline. It seems like the earth has started to spin slower and days are getting longer. Feeling tired all day. Drinking coffee for lunch. I need a straight Mountain Dew intravenous drip to make it through. It's either me, the climate adjustment, or those aliens that abduct me from the Best Western every night and force me to watch Howdy Doody re-runs while wearing bunny slippers.

Went to place for dinner on Monday called the Ambler Grill which was established in 1950. Atmosphere was nice. Very 50's. I asked what they were famous for. ''The cheesesteaks are good.'' Right. They're just cheesesteaks here. Nobody calls them a Philly cheesesteak. It was really good. Not just regular good. Good good. Wish I had another one right now. Today I hit the Subway located right outside the hotel for dinner. It was built inside two real subway cars they have parked outside on a piece of track. Another restaurant next to that (that I have not visited) is called Palace of Asia. At first I thought it was some creepy brothel. But no, although it's an Indian restaurant. Not sure why they're calling it Palace of Asia. It's the Palace part that makes me feel icky. If they called it something else like Kitchen of Asia or Food That's From Asia. Specifics are good.

I hear some girl screaming outside the door down the hallway. Damn perverts. Get a room. Oh... Right.

Why am I mimicking Tom Green? He married Drew Barrymore, didn't he? How can I lose?

philly

2001.06.03 23.00

Sitting on the plane right now while I type this. Seat 6D. Aisle seat. I like the aisle. The window has a nice view, but there is a lot to think about if you have to sit there. For example:
  • As you pass seatmates to or from your seat, you might accidentally fall into one of their laps - not good if the guy next to you is a construction worker or biker. This point is automatically moot if you happen to be sitting next to hottie supermodels from Europe.
  • The cabin wall you sit next to is concave so you can't just lean into it if you're anywhere over 5 feet tall. Here come the crick.
  • If the guy next to you is spilling into your seat, there is no escape. If the supermodel next to you is spilling into your seat, you won't want to escape.
  • When the plane lands and the cabin door opens, everyone immediately stands up - except you. The overhead bin robs you of the ability to stand so you have to either sit there and tough it or do the crouching tiger move until your seatmates get the hell up.
  • You are the master of the window. Want the blinder thingy to go up or down? That's all you.
  • The view is all yours. Score yourself extra points if your head is really big, too.
  • No need to come into physical contact with a flight attendant. Pass all of your trash and food over to the person next to you.
  • You'll know if the plane is about to crash / lose a wing / explode before the people next to you.
  • If the plane should crack open you've got a clear path to the outside with no waiting.
  • Unexplained creatures sitting on the wing tend to be noticed by the window seat guy.
The male flight attendant just came on and gave a supposed update of a Philadelpha 76ers basketball game going on. He had them losing terribly and the star player was out for the season. He then revealed his ruse. Apparently folks back in aisle 10 are now plotting how to throw him out of the plane.

Haven't updated in a while due to being busy. Typical blog excuse that I am sure everyone with a blog has made at least once. I have been exercising the ''if I don't use it for three months I don't need it rule'' and I'm very close to containing all of my belongings within the master bedroom. This does not count the 2000+ action figures I have. Have I ever mentioned that? Yeah, they basically cover the walls in the living room. People tend to freak out over them for the first 5 minutes that they enter the living room. They forget about it shortly thereafter. I got the idea from a guy I visited in 1994 with my then girlfriend Betsy. I was selling him one of my rare ''Batman: Mask of the Phantasm'' figures. Speaking of, this figure was pretty silly. The whole point of the movie is that you don't know the identity of the Phantasm character until the very end. The figure reveals who the Phantasm is since it isn't wearing the hood in the package. Duh. I think Kenner didn't make too many of these. I wonder if there were pissed off people in a marketing department somewhere. I would have never hypothesized things like this before I got into the Internet Biz. Back then I Was like, ''heh, heh, heh... look... it's a pretty girl action figure!''

Getting worried that I will lose out on Planet of the Apes tickets in July because of the surge in demand for them. Fox can only fit so many people in the theater. Need to bust out on the programming for the fanclub site within the next week. I have finished the log in for users, but my super secret image protection COM object isn't my buddy. Alternate strategy would be to stamp the back of people's hands everytime they view a graphic. Implementation will be tricky. May have to resort to the honor system.

Getting to flex by Creative abilities by going to Philadelpha. That's why I am on this plane right now typing this. Going to be working for 90 days, apparently, in the city of brotherly love. Everyone has been pretty goofy about their limited knowledge of Philly. ''Man, you're gonna have to eat one of their famous philadelphia cheese steaks when you're there!'' Like, do people coming to Texas from Philly tell their departing friends, ''Man, you're gonna have to eat some of their famous Tex-Mex when you're there!'' I digress.

Meant to bring my webcam with me to give daily updates. Instead I'll use the digital camera. My third alterative is my Casio Wrist Camera, although I don't have the transmitter. I haven't posted any pics from that particular camera, so get ready for some mild entertainment value when I post next.

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