Bush supporter Fred Bautsch does jumping jacks while waiting for his pizza delivery to show up. "Pizza tastes good!" announced Bautsch. Didn’t get into work today. Heard weird alarm early in the morning. Upon investigation found out my heater was croaking. Thought it was my fire alarm. Wrong. The carbon monoxide alarm. Woah. Never thought […]

Palm Beach County Supervisor of Elections Theresa LePore uses her psychic powers to determine voter intent. "Most of the time I have to be watching ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’ reruns to do this right," admitted Ms. LePore.

Been a busy week. Went into the office and made the most of being out in the open area, out of an office. Find myself cursing out loud less often. All surfing now is G-Rated no matter what. Off-color joke emails get deleted quickly. Adjusted my screen resolution to 1600×1200 so that no normal human […]

Florida election officials blinded by strong florescent lighting use rejected ballots to shield their eyes. "It’s so bright in here. Where are my sunglasses?" inquired Judge Charles Burton (left). Republican election officials have steadfastly held that the lighting conditions seem fine to them. Vice President Al Gore finds time to jog amidst allegations that the […]

Bush supporter Michelle Granda gives Gore supporter Scott Brown the index finger outside the Palm Beach County elections headquarters on Thursday. "How dare you point your index finger at me," countered the frightened and weasel-like Brown just before he burst into tears. "No re-vote for you, flag-shirt hippie!" responded Michelle. Feeling super depressed right now. […]

Jesse Jackson attempts to make his index finger pass through a Florida election ballot. After several failed attempts, the determined Reverend was quoted as saying, "Dammit, how the hell does David Copperfield do this?" Figured out my ill feelings at the Manson concert. Didn’t know the words to new songs he played, so I felt […]

Want to see The Blue Man Group perform one day. Are you unbreakable? Went to Manson concert last night. Had fun time. Managed to get about 20 feet from the stage, dead center. As soon as Manson started up, the mosh from hell began. Wasn’t too bad. Fell down two times. Each time someone grabbed […]

10/27, Friday Night: Went to #’s and to a nearby party once I realized the night was a suck. Entrance fee to party was $10. Went to gate. Off duty cop stood in way. Told cop, "Yup, just coming back from my car." Made weak attempt at smile. Cop waves me in. I find friends […]